My wife has another man with me

Dear Pastor,

I am in lots of trouble and that is why I am writing to you. I am married but my wife has another man with me. We have three children together. She is a good mother to the children. I can't accuse her of ignoring them. She says that I spoil my daughter, but I can say that she has spoiled our two sons.

Recently, my wife and I were in bed and her phone rang. It was on the side table. So I took it up and had a glance at the number. The name of the caller came up on the screen and I saw the initials. She excused herself and went into the bathroom. I wondered why she would do so. However, I did not say anything. About a week after I got the shock of my life. While we were having sex, she called the man's name and she was not aware that she was doing so. I continued to do my thing, but it happened again. This time around I stopped and asked her who the hell is so and so. She said she did not know what I was talking about. I told her it was not the first she was calling this man's name while making love to me. She called me a liar. I will not lie on my wife. I am telling you the truth.

IS IT NORMAL

I can't understand where my wife gets the time to cheat. I take her to work and I pick her up from work, and everything that she wants I try to give her. But I know she is cheating on me. Is it normal for a woman to call another man's name while she is making love with her husband?

My wife and I bought a home together. I work very hard. I don't hide anything from her. Who is this man she has gotten involved with? She is saying that it is my imagination. I am wondering if I have shortcomings and what they are. I told her to tell me but she says she is happy with me. How to deal with this matter? Please, please help me.

R

Dear R.,

You have been married and you have three children together, so both of you have been in an intimate relationship for a number of years. If the relationship had just started, and both of you became lover recently, it might have been easy for you to believe that your wife was mixed up with the names. However, if she was calling the name of her old boyfriend, instead of yours, while she was engaged in lovemaking with you, it is a cause for concern.

It is not uncommon for some women, who are not happy with their lovers, to think about other men with whom they have relationships, in order to be satisfied. I hate to say that, but it is true. Some women miss their old boyfriends so much and that to really enjoy intimacy, and to reach orgasm they have to think about the other guys.

You are not a fool, you heard what your wife said. You heard the name she called. She denied that she called his name. But you are not deaf nor stupid. Was she fantasising? I doubt that she was. Both of you need to go and see a family counsellor.

You may think that everything is alright in the relationship wife, but it does not appear that way. So, please take this matter in hand. I repeat, both of you need to go and see a family counsellor.

Pastor