My mother hates me - I am always looking for love, so I fall for guys easily.

Dear Pastor,

I'm a regular reader of your column. I take your advice when you reply to other women. I'm 26 and I am a mother of one child. My mother hates me, but I don't know why. Her favourite child is my elder brother. From I was in primary school, my mother kept telling me that she hates me. I have no one to reason with nor do I have anyone to look to for advice in human form. I only have God.

Pastor, I met this guy and I was living with him. I was very comfortable. My mother asked him for money and when he did not give it to her, she maliced him. My mother only loves me for my things. I am now living with my mother. I'm currently seeking a house through the National Housing Trust. My boyfriend and I broke up and that is how I ended up living with my mother. She doesn't like him. Whenever I was on early shift, I used to go and stay with her until my boyfriend picked me up. Whenever he came, he would tell her good evening, but she used to sulk and didn't answer.

Fast-forward to now. I met another guy and he has a two-year-old son who lives with him. He stated that he is not in a relationship with the child's mother. This guy wants me to come and live with him. I told him that my child goes to school in Kingston and I work in Kingston as well. I'm doing great at my job. He said I will always reach work on time because he drives and I can move my child to another school.

Pastor, I'm depressed. I'm scared because neither my mother nor father showed me love so I easily fall in love with guys, but I always hold out on sex. I never give up easily, but I tend to like them quickly. I would love to live with this guy but he lives too far. He lives in Portland and I live in Kingston. I'm going to visit him on my day-off. Pastor, the relationship is just two months old and this guy wants me to live with him. I'm scared. I think he is just looking a mother for his child.

B

Dear B.,

Judging by your letter, this is the second time that men have asked you to live with them. The last time you lived with a man, your mother did not like him and eventually, you broke up with him.

Now you have met another man and he is inviting you to live with him. The relationship is still very young. You don't know a lot about this man and yet you are contemplating living with him. Some people would say you have knocked your head. You have a good job and your child attends school in the city of Kingston and the man is telling you that you can change school. So right away he is telling you to put him first and the education of your child second. I hope that you would not continue to listen to his nonsense.

You say that you are holding out in not having sex with this young man. However, if you are planning to leave Kingston and to go to Portland to visit him, the matter of having sex with him is a done deal. You say you are easy to fall in love, but what you should add to your statement is that you are easily used. These men, including this man who lives in Portland, aim to get under your skirt. So I am asking you this question: Why are you thinking of going to live with this man? You have a job and you can try and pay your bills on your own.

You say your mother does not like you, but it is better to stay at your mother's house and deal with her selfishness than to allow a man to use you. It is never good for a woman to move from man to man. Therefore, I cannot encourage you to strengthen the relationship that you have started with this man two months ago. Think about it, what do you know about this man? Oh yes, I could understand that he told you that he loves you. That is the easiest thing for a man to tell a woman. Put on your thinking cap, dear lady, and don't listen to what this man has to stay to you. Please don't go to his yard in Portland.

Pastor