Church members all up in our business

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 years old and my girlfriend is 23. We have been friends for one year. We are just getting to know each other, but the people in our church are asking us when we are going to get married. Even when we sit together in church, some of the older people say that we shouldn't because we are behaving like a married couple.

One lady asked my girlfriend if we are having sex. My girlfriend was so shocked, she told her to mind her own business. The lady complained to the pastor and he told my girlfriend that the lady is only concerned about her, so she should go and apologise. My girlfriend has refused to apologise. So we understand that some of the other ladies are saying that if we were not having sex, she would have just simply said no.

We were very active in church, and even during the COVID, we tried to do our part when many people stayed home. My girlfriend has refused to apologise, so we do not know what the church is going to do to her.

U.

Dear U.,

Many churches always want to know whether young couples are having sex. This older woman had no right whatsoever to ask your girlfriend whether both of you were going to bed.

And the answer she gave her was correct. She was too out of order to ask the girl such a personal question, especially since the young woman did not go to her for spiritual guidance. As I see it, your girlfriend does not have to apologise to her. I hope that the pastor will not insist that she does. I also hope that this church will not be so foolish as to try to discipline the young lady because of the answer she gave. That is all I want to say on this matter.

Pastor