Think it’s time I get married

Dear Pastor,

I read your column every day and I listen to your programme all the time. You are my company at nights. So I am bringing a problem to you.

I was living with a man but he died. We were not married but he was very good to me. The house belongs to his daughters now. One of them told me that I could continue to live there but the other one was not happy about that. So I moved and came back to my father's house.

I am now 60 years old and I met a man. He is 65. He told me that he loves me. I go to his house sometimes and I sleep over. This man is very strong for his age. He has children but they are not living in Jamaica. He was living in America but he came back home. He said he would rather die in Jamaica than in America and he can't take the cold over there any more.

He and my father are good friends. My father is now 80 years old. He takes my father out. Whenever he has to go to the doctor, I can always call on this man to help me. My mother has passed on. I am not looking for anything from this man because whatever my father has is mine. I have a sister and two brothers and they told me that I should just take care of daddy and the house. There is an apartment attached to our house and that is being rented and that helps to pay bills. Plus, my father gets his pension.

I am the only child who was never married. I have some savings but I have not told this man how much I have. He told his children about me and sometimes I talk to them on the phone. They are planning to come to Jamaica for the summer and their father said it would be a good time for us to get married. But I have not made up my mind yet. Sometimes I ask myself why I should get married at this age. People may think that I am trying to get something out of this man.

My church is open again and that is one reason why I would get married because I don't want to continue to fornicate. I want to be in my church. What do you say?

L.C.

Dear L.C.,

You need to go right ahead and get married. You are 60 and the man is 65 and he is able to function very well, according to you. Get married because the man is healthy and strong and you have a good relationship with his children.

Your father is 80. He will be pleased to see you get married to a man who loves you and assists him from time to time. I urge you not to delay. Get married. Do not be concerned about what people may say about your relationship with this man. You know that you are not after his wealth, so even when people accuse you of that, behave as if you don't hear what they say. Always remember that people will talk.

As a matter a fact, you didn't hear anybody say that, but that is in your mind. You could be wrong. I wish you well and always remember that some women get married at an early age while there are others who got married later on in life. Some who yearned to be married never met good men.

This man is not a fool. He knows that you are not after his wealth. So talk to him about marriage and remember that you can do a very small wedding and set your conscience free in your church.

Pastor