Think my girl will forget me if she goes abroad

Dear Pastor,

I have this girl in my life. I have done everything for her, including putting her through high school and helping her to go to college.

My mother told me that was not a wise thing to do, because she was just a poor girl and she was going to leave me. That is what is happening now.

A few weeks ago, she told me that her mind had changed from Jamaica and she wanted to leave; but she would never forget me and I shouldn't fret, because she was going to come back and marry me. I don't have anything. I spent everything on her. So what is she going to come back to? She said she would come back to the man she loved, because I could have got her pregnant and I didn't.

My father told me that I am worried now because I didn't heed his advice. My father advised me to have other women with her, but I did not listen to him. This girl is beautiful. She has a nice shape and she is very sexy. Whenever we go out, people admire her. I don't know if I am fooling myself, but I want to believe that she will return to marry me. I don't know how you see it. I asked her what she will do when she gets lonely. She said she will call me and we can video-chat for as long as I want.

She said that she can't be working for the little bit of money that the Government will pay her. But it is the little money that I worked for that helped to put her through college. I was hoping that when she went for the interview she would not pass. But instead, she got through with flying colours. I was never a fan of America, but if she is going to be there, I will have to go there, too.

Since we have been going together, I have not kept another girl. That may have to change now. But I will not give them my money. I have paid down on a piece of land and I was hoping to build on it and then we would get married. But right now, I don't know what to do, so please give me your advice.

K.G.

Dear K.G.,

This young lady has tried to assure you that she is not ending the relationship, and that both of you would still be a part of each other. The only thing is that the relationship would be long distance.

She has tried to assure you that she will be faithful to you. I have observed, however, that you have not assured her that you will be faithful to her. Your mother has discouraged you from assisting this lady to attend college, because she felt that she would leave you after she had her training. Now she might be saying to you, 'Son, I told you so, that is what women nowadays do to men.'

I am trying to respond to you in such a way that you will not be discouraged. This young woman does not have to become sexually involved with other men, or with another man. There are many ways you can keep in touch with her. Make sure that when both of you speak, you do not accuse her of going with another man.

You are an ambitious young man. Continue to put all your plans in place to build a house on the land you have bought. Think of a three-bedroom, self-contained house. I am sure that you bought the land in a good location. I hope I will hear from you again, and I wish you well.

Pastor