Playboy ready to settle down

Dear Pastor,

I am 31 and I am coming from far. I have gone through a number of women, but I could not find any to suit me. My father is not married, and he told me that I should be careful not to marry too soon, because women would dig out my eyes and leave me blind.

I move from woman to woman. Some of them had children, some did not. But I realised that I was wasting a lot of my money, because they all needed money from me. One woman who I slept with took away my entire pay. I got my pay on the Friday and I slept with her that night. I noticed that she was hurrying to leave and after she was gone, I checked my pants pocket. My money was gone. I searched for her, but I did not find her. I don't even remember if she gave me her name.

Then I met a woman who had four children and I became friendly with her. When I saw the way she treated me, I decided to live with her. She was living with a man, but he was ill and just before I moved in, his children had taken him away. I did not want any woman with children, because my father used to tell me that I should not support other men's children. But this lady washed my clothes and cooked my meals, and dinner was always ready when I got home.

But I have one problem with her. She was a revivalist and claimed that she could see things. So to prove it, I spent the night with an old girlfriend and when I went back home, she was able to describe the girl. She warned me that if I was going to do that, we couldn't live together. I denied everything; but after she told me that the girl is half- Indian and the type of hair she had, I admitted it and stopped running around.

Two of this woman's children belonged to the man she was living with. I went away to do farmwork, and I took the chance and sent my money to her and she saved it. When I came back to Jamaica she showed me the book. My sister and brother told me that I should send the money to them. But I knew that my siblings would steal my money, so I would rather put my trust in this woman.

Both of us are now in church. The pastor wants to make me a deacon. But he cannot do so because I am not married. I got baptised in the church, but I am still living with this woman and fornicating. The pastor does not have a licence to marry people. My friend told me that you took care of his marriage for him. So I am begging you to do the same for us. My lady and I will come to Kingston and do this thing quietly. I wonder if you would grant us this favour.

B.E.

Dear B.E.,

You were a 'hotrod'. You were all over the place with different women. But I have said to women who have complained to me how wild their men are, that these men will eventually stop. They cannot continue living that type of life. Of course, I know by the time some of them stop, they are totally ruined; they are mashed up. Some are penniless. But it seems to me that you are not, and part of the reason for that is that you were rescued, so to speak, by this woman.

Many years ago I found myself in the midst of a group of men talking about women, and they were trying to convince me that not all women are the same. They can be biologically the same, but some of them can handle 'their situation' and hold the men. I kept quiet.

Both you and this woman have decided to follow the Lord and want to get married. I want to assure you that I will help you. It can be a very simple ceremony. You don't even have to buy a ring if you don't have the money. But be careful not to suggest that, because I am sure this woman wants to flash her ring. She might even want to give you one.

You haven't said anything to me about where you are living. If the house does not belong to both of you, then you should do your very best to try and buy a house, or a piece of land on which you can build. I would have to meet with both of you before the wedding date, because banns will have to be published, or you can apply for a licence. These things will be discussed further. Kindly contact my office at 876-929-1667 or 876-877-1009. If you encounter difficulty on the phone, keep trying.

Pastor