Husband trying to stop me from migrating

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I am a married woman, but my parents have been trying to get me to join them in the United States of America. They have been working on my papers for a long time. The lawyer has assured me that everything is on track.

I have been having a hard time with my so-called husband. He doesn't want me to migrate, and he is doing everything to stop me. Some documents came to me, I read them and put them down and by the next day, they could not be found. No one could have moved them but my husband. He would take down Jesus from the cross, by saying that he did not interfere with any mail. However, I know this man is lying because when I talked to one of his sisters, who is very close to me, she told me that he told her he would destroy them. I know he would do so, because he takes me as a slave and he does not want me out of his sight.

I can't stand this man any more. I want to go away and better myself. I have two children for him. I want to work and give them a better future. Everyday I ask him for the documents and he keeps telling me that he does not know what I am talking about. The lawyer told me that the time is approaching when I have to send these documents in, but I told him I don't have them. He said they were sent to me. I told my husband that I am going to leave him.

I have to give a relative my passport to hold, because I know my husband will destroy that, too. He is such a wicked man. He hid the children's passports, but I found them and the relative has those, too.

My husband is a sideman on a truck, so I want to leave this place to earn enough to help him; but he is blind and he cannot see that. He is only talking about when I go away I am going to get involved with another man. That is not in my mind. He is pushing that in my mind, but that's not my intention at all.

I am so stressed. I don't know what to do. Please help me.

Initials Withheld

Dear Writer,

Your husband is short-sighted. You have been trying to show him that life can be brighter for the family if you are able to travel and get a good job and educate the children. But your husband is only able to see that he is going to lose you because you are going to get involved with another man. He does not trust you, so he prefers to struggle in Jamaica and continue to be the sideman on a truck. He wants to see you every day when he gets home. He wants also to see his children, but paying the bills does not appear to be important to him. You, on the other had, want to make progress in life.

I am sure you have weighed this matter carefully and encouraged your parents to file for you. They would have had to pay the lawyer to do the paperwork, and it would be unfortunate if your husband destroyed them. You are sure that he has done so. His sister feels that he did exactly that. If he really has done that, he is a really short-sighted man.

I can only encourage you to continue to work with the lawyer. This might be a temporary setback, but it does not mean that your application may never go through.

Sometimes when parents file for children it takes years, many years. So hang on in there, so to speak. Please do not leave your correspondence hanging around. It's a shame that you have to take them to your trusted relative. Do so to protect whatever is sent to you. You will know what to do with your husband if he continues to behave like a fool.

Pastor