Think I’m pregnant for my landlord’s son

Dear Pastor,

I am two months pregnant but I am carrying a guilty conscience because I am living with my husband, but the truth is I got pregnant by my landlord's son.

We have been living here for two years and this young man and I have carried on a relationship. From the time we set eyes on each other, we fell in love. He gives me what my husband does not. My husband doesn't spend time with me. This young man is at university, but he does most of his work online and sometimes he stops and takes care of my sexual needs. His father is wealthy so money is not a problem for him. Whatever I want, this young man gives to me. But I am feeling guilty because recently my husband told me that he observed that I was paying much attention to this young man. I denied it but I asked my husband if he was jealous. He said he would stop paying the rent if I was with the landlord's son.

One day my husband saw a handkerchief that was not his. He told me that he knew the owner of that handkerchief and asked what the owner was doing in the living room. I did not know what to say. He asked me if the guy was here and I told him the guy was only passing through. That day I had had passionate sex with the young man and perhaps he wiped his face and forgot to take his handkerchief away. This guy is only 30 and I am 28. I have made up my mind to leave my husband if this child is his because my husband has been trying to get me pregnant since we have been married. We do not use protection when we are having sex. The landlord's son and I have used protection a few times.

I am a nurse. I did a test to find out if I was fertile. My husband did a test and he was told that his sperm were not going the right way. I am eager to have a child. Since I found out that I am pregnant, I spoke to my doctor about it and he said "Congratulations, your husband has done it." I told my doctor that I didn't think so and he stared at me. My conscience is only bothering me because I did not want to be impregnated by someone who was not my husband. I will have to live with this one if that has proven to be so.

I told the young man and he told me that his fiancee is going to kill him. I told him that he will have to deal with that. I know my mother would be disappointed in me. I don't know how my father will react but he is always talking about seeing his grandchildren. My husband has not done enough to get me pregnant. The doctor has advised him what he should do but all he says is that such treatment is too expensive.

I know what I have been doing with the landlord's son is wrong, but I believe what I have in me right now was placed there by him. I hope that you are not going to condemn me and I hope that you will wish me well.

U.R.

Dear U.R.,

I am not going to condemn you for what you have been doing. You have had the time to spend with your landlord's son. You said from the time you saw him, you fell in love with him.

Even your husband became suspicious of you. It does not even appear that you were very careful with how you went about having an affair with this young man. At the same time, you are trying to put the blame on him by saying he is not spending enough time with you. Women have come to see me and admitted that they willingly went with other men to see if they could get them pregnant.

You went with this young man believing that he could get you pregnant. I hope that when you have found out for sure that he was the one, you will let me know. You said that the doctor who has been seeing your husband has told him what to do, but your husband is always complaining about the cost of the treatment. Perhaps you could have assisted him on the matter of the cost.

The truth is, you have been so involved with this young man that you didn't care. If the landlord's son has got you pregnant, you would not be ashamed about it. I hope you know that you would have destroyed your marriage. On the other hand, your husband might forgive you for what you have done. But how will your landlord deal with the matter? That is another issue. You want me to wish you well, so that is exactly what I am prepared to do. I wish you well.

Pastor