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Boyfriend treats me like a helper
October 21, 2022
Dear Pastor,
Please tell me if I am wrong. I have two children and I am living with their father. I am 24 and their father is 26. Both of us are working.
We have someone who keeps the children during the week. I get home before my boyfriend and I have to take care of them and prepare dinner. Sometimes my boyfriend gets home early and he does not even try to start cooking dinner. He prefers to raid the refrigerator and he takes out what he wants and sits in front of the television and watch sports. I asked him if he couldn't start cooking until I got home and he asked me what he has me in the house for.
On Saturdays, he leaves the house after eating breakfast and goes out all day with his friends. He doesn't take me anywhere. I am exhausted. I am so tired. And every night he wants to 'take what I have'. Even when I pretend that I am sleeping, he puts on the lights and opens my eyes and I just have to give up. Is there anything wrong with my boyfriend helping me to clean the house, cook and wash occasionally? I don't expect him to do that every day, but sometimes I need the help.
N.H.
Dear N.H.,
Some men have not learnt that they should do their part in house chores, especially when they have children. Some men have never changed diapers and they have not learnt how to bathe their babies.
They think that these tasks are a woman's thing. Your children's father seems to be that type of a man. Both of you are employed, so whenever he leaves work before you, he can pick up the children, bathe them and change them. Even if he cannot manage the cooking, he should be able to take care of the children. And on Saturdays, he should not feel that he should go out every Saturday. You should begin to insist that he help you.
This man and you should learn to work as a team and improve your communication. I believe that you love your man and that you are trying your best. Don't give up on him, but tell him that you want to go to see a counsellor so that both of you can learn how to strengthen your relationship.
Pastor
