My friend rates her dirty stepfather over her boyfriend

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I live with my parents, one sister and two brothers. I have a friend who is 17 years old. One day she asked me if I could keep a secret; I said sure. She said that when she was 16, going on to 17, her stepfather forced her to have sex with him. She said she did not want to have sex with him, but he was the only person assisting her mother, and he provided everything for the house. When she told him that she did not want to have sex with him because that was not right, he told her that from she was a little girl he provided everything for her. He questioned why she should be with another man before him.

She lied and told him that she has been with another man, because she has a boyfriend and he took her virginity. Her stepfather said he would keep that as his secret, he wouldn't tell her mother. He kept bothering her for sex. One day when they were alone at home, he told her that they had the opportunity to have sex. He held her hand and led her into her bedroom. She said that she felt hopeless and powerless. He had sex with her. She said she cried, but her stepfather questioned why she was crying. He insisted that he did not hurt her. She never told her mother what happened.

Her stepfather buys her anything she wants. If she asked her mother for something, her mother would tell her to go and ask her stepfather, and he would give it to her.

She has a boyfriend and she had sex with him, but she finds sex with her stepfather to be more enjoyable. Her boyfriend was too much in a hurry when they had sex. Her stepfather has questioned her about her boyfriend. He has warned her not to allow him to get her pregnant. Her boyfriend is a soldier. She said she has come to love her stepfather more than her boyfriend, and she does not like to hear her mother quarrelling with him.

I can't keep this thing to myself, this is why I am writing to you about it. This man is wicked. Please do not let anybody see my initials.

Initials withheld.

Dear Writer,

This 17-year-old girl told you her secret and the secret is about her iniquitous stepfather. This man and the girl's mother live in concubinage. She is aware that her mother and stepfather are sleeping together. When he approached her to have sex with him, she should have told him that she was going to report him to her mother, but she didn't.

Her stepfather is a wicked, dirty man.

Now, this girl is saying that she is now in love with him and that she loves him more than her boyfriend. I expect you to try to help this girl by encouraging her to end this relationship with her stepfather. She needs to tell him that she is not going to go further with him. She should tell him that she will report him to her mother if he continues to come to her for sex.

I know he is going to try to scare her by telling her that her mother would not believe her, and that she is a liar. I also want to tell you to let this girl know that she needs therapy, and that you would be prepared to go with her to see a psychologist or a senior family counsellor.

Please keep her as a friend, but tell her that what she is doing will affect her if she doesn't break up with her stepfather.

Pastor