Husband wants us to have a threesome

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am married and I have one child. My husband comes home soon after he leaves work, but when he comes home, he goes straight to his computer and he is on it for hours. I am not allowed to use his computer; I have my own. Although I am working, it is part-time, so after leaving work, I pick up the baby from the nursery and go home and cook so that when my husband comes home, he gets his dinner.

I am puzzled by some of the things he does because he is very loving to me. I saw my husband looking at porn several times and he didn't deny doing so. Sometimes when we make love, he tries to do what he saw these people doing. I know because he has had to admit it. He said he is just having fun, but why stay so long on these sites? He says he is happy with me, but we should always spice up our relationship. I can't spice it up any more. He would not admit it, but I believe he is having some sort of affair with a couple of these women that he sees on the computer. If I had to spend so long on these sites, my husband would not allow me to do so. He said he is having fun, but I am jealous because of the amount of time he is spending on the Internet.

I don't think that there is any position that he has not done with me, and he learnt all of them from the Internet. How can I stop my husband from spending so much time on his computer on these sites? When we met each other, we used to make love long before we got married, and our sex life was normal. But now, what we are doing cannot be described as normal. But my husband says it is because we did not understand how to spice up our love life. My husband has also asked me if I would invite one of my girlfriends into our bedroom. I told him no and if I knew that he was engaged in any threesome, I would leave him. He told me he has friends who have done so and it did not destroy their relationship. I know that would destroy ours.

Apart from this computer problem, I don't have any problem with my husband. Why is it that some men can't be satisfied with one woman? I enjoy reading your column; keep up the good work.

H.P.

Dear H.P.,

It is evident that you love your husband and I would take the risk in saying that your husband loves you. He has tried to assure you that what he is doing is just for fun. I cannot say that he is not having fun, but you know that he has learned to do some weird things in making love with you. He learned them from what he saw looking at porn.

This man wants added excitement in the bedroom and that is why he asked you if you would engage in a threesome. I would say to you that he is totally out of order. You have been a good wife to him, continue to do so. Before I go, let me say that if you see any danger in your relationship, ask your husband to go with you to see a family counsellor and discuss the problems that both of you are having.

Pastor