Fantasising about my lecturer

Dear Pastor,

I am a 20 years old man and I am attending a university. I have a secret which I am about to reveal to you. One of my lecturers is in her 40s. She is very good to me.

I can contact her anytime I am having difficulty. She is always encouraging me to press on and I appreciate that. The more I have got to know this lady is the more I am in love with her.

I fantasise a lot about her. I know it is not right, but I can't help it. This lady has never done anything purposely to turn me on, but I just admire her and I enjoy the tone of her voice. I wonder what it would be like to have her in bed.

Pastor, I have a girlfriend and she told me that she does not trust me with this lecturer because I talk so much about her. Sometimes I don't have a real need to call her. I can do my work without her help, but just to hear her voice, I call. Then she spends time to go through the lesson with me. Sometimes I wonder if she is not thinking that I am wasting her time. I wanted to know if she had a man, so one day I told her that I would like to apologise to her partner for disturbing her and she said she didn't have one. I told her that it was unfortunate that she didn't have one. She told me that I did not need to apologise because she chose not to have one. I was hoping that she would have asked me about my girlfriend, but she did not. I have called her late in the night, but she is never upset.

Should I tell this lecturer that I think of her all the while? I never thought that I would fantasise about having sex with my lecturer. Do you think that something is wrong with me? I am beginning to think that something is wrong. My girlfriend and I have sex often. I can't tell her the things that I fantasise about. If I do, she will call me dirty. Some of the things I fantasise about with my lecturer, I have never practised with my girlfriend. So I ask you again, should I let my lecturer know how I feel about her? I really do need your help.

M.B.

Dear M.B.,

I wish that your lecturer would become aware that you are having serious temptations towards her. Your fantasy is running away with you, so to speak.

Perhaps the time has come for you to say something to her. It may do two things. One, she may tell you not to call her back unless it is about school. She may just put you in your place. Two, she may ask you to put all your questions in writing and send them to her by email and ask you to wait on her for the reply.

It is not unusual, young man, for male students to be attracted to female lecturers, especially if the lecturers are young and they dress well. But young men have to learn to control their passion because some female lecturers are well aware that young men can be turned on by them.

From what you have written, you need a good shaking up by this lecturer to put you in your senses. So I say to you, don't take chances with this woman; she may just discipline you.

Pastor