Think my friend is a thief

Dear Pastor,

I am almost 22 and I am living with my boyfriend who is 35. I have two children but their fathers don't give me anything for them. This man is the one who supports them.

I came to live with him because I could not stay with my children's father. All he did was curse bad words and accuse me of having other men with him.

I had to run out of the house naked one night after I told him that I was not going to have sex with him. He tore off my nightie and I put up a fight and then he tore off my underwear. I told him that he would have to kill me, but I was not going to give him my body. So I ran. I had a couple of sheets on the line and I grabbed one and wrapped myself up and called the neighbour. They told me to call the police, but I didn't, and the neighbour talked to him and told him what he was doing was foolish.

I called my brother and he came and warned this man and took my children and I to his place. The following day, I went back to the house and packed and I left him. I am now living with my present boyfriend and he is helping me. My mother has two children. I am working at a service station. This man has children also, but they are not living with him.

One of my friends was spending the weekend with us. My boyfriend brought home his partner draw and showed it to me. I asked him for $25,000 of it and he gave it to me. He told me where he was putting the money and then he said he was going to go to his credit union and lodge the rest. My friend stayed with us and she and I left for work on Monday.

When I got home on Monday night, my boyfriend asked me why I took out $15,000 more of the money. I told him I did not touch it and he said, when he was ready to take the money to the credit union, $15,000 was missing. I told him that I would not do that. I offered to give him back the $15,000 out of what he gave me and he said no. He said not even duppy would know where he put the money, so I suspected that my friend took it. When I asked her if she took the money, she said no and said she was surprised that I considered her a thief. I feel disappointed in my friend because nobody else came to the house. Every day now, my boyfriend is talking about how he works so hard and paid his partner and his money disappeared.

I don't know what to do. I have not told anybody at my workplace what has happened. This girl told me that maybe he did not count the money properly, but I believe that she took the money. That is why I am asking you to give me your advice. Do you think I should insist and give him back the money that went missing?

S.K.

Dear S.K.,

You know that you did not take your boyfriend's money. You know he is not accusing you of doing so, but he is annoyed because he has worked very hard, saved his money and was ready to put his partner draw in the credit union. He knows that his money could not have walked away like that.

Your girlfriend who was spending the weekend with you said she did not take any money. You suspect that she did, but you can't be sure. So, where is the money? What has happened should be a warning to you not to accommodate friends in your boyfriend's house, unless you know them very well and they are reputable persons.

Although this man might hesitate in taking the money back from you, tell him that you will give him back the money in instalments. You are not admitting any guilt, but tell him that it is really bothering you that he has lost so much money and he has been so very good to you.

Pastor