Pregnant for a married man

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem and I hope you can help me. I am 23 and I am pregnant for a married man. This man and I have been friends since I was 19. He is twice my age.

I am from rural Jamaica, but I came to Kingston and was staying with relatives. Things didn't go as planned, so they asked me to leave. So this man told me that he and his wife were not getting along, so if I did not want to go back to the country, he would take care of me.

He introduced me to one of his friends and I started to work with her. She wanted me to work out my soul and not pay me, so I complained to the man and he rented a place and put me there. He told the landlady that I was his niece, and I was only going to be there for two months. He was paying $15,000 for me to live there, but the landlady raised the rent to $20,000 after the first month, and the man told me that his wife was going away so I could stay with him.

I went to see him. He told me I should not answer the phone, so I didn't. Every day he brought fast food home. Nobody, except the close neighbours, knew that I was there. I spoke to my mother every day. I had a boyfriend who I used to talk to. But this man got me a new SIM so that he would not reach me. He got another place to live, so he moved me there. I used to have sex with him every day. He told me to call him uncle. When I became pregnant, I didn't even know that I was carrying this man's child. But I cannot go back to my other boyfriend and I am all alone. I don't have friends and I don't talk to the relatives I used to stay with.

This man told me that I don't need to worry, he will take care of me and the baby. So far he is doing that, but I am not happy. This man told me that his wife is going to come back very soon. I asked him what he was going to do with me and he said he will take care of that. I told him I want to see my mother after having the baby and he said we can arrange that. He does not treat me as a girlfriend and sometimes he doesn't take me anywhere.

The landlord is always asking me about my uncle. If she doesn't see him for a week, she wants to know if something is wrong. She said that if I need anything I can call on her, but I have never called on her. I am supposed to have a baby in March and he has bought everything that I need. I want to see my mother, but I don't want her to know that the child is for a married man. I want to spend six months with my mother and ask her to keep the baby for me while I try to find work in Kingston again.

This man said he is divorcing his wife and he will marry me. He is old enough to be my father. Please give me your advice.

E.S.

Dear E.S.,

You are all mixed up. Call your mother and tell her that you are pregnant. By now you should know that you can't believe everything this man tells you about his wife.

You are no longer a little girl who should be pushed around. So I hope that when you go back to rural Jamaica, this man will continue to support you, and that you will not return to Kingston unless you have a job and another place to stay.

I am not condemning you, but I am not sure that this man truly wants to assist you. It seems to me that he has you as his sex slave. I wish you a safe delivery. Your mother would not want you to suffer, so tell her the truth.

Pastor