Ashamed to be a virgin

Dear Pastor,

I am 22 years old and I am eager to become a good man and live a comfortable life with assets and life savings. I have lived in a single family home all my life. I was not born in a wealthy family. I depend on rent from tenants to make ends meet.

I have been working from the age of 16 to assist myself in attending school and helping out in the house. I'm ashamed to say this, but I'm a virgin. Some of my friends know that I am a virgin and they mock me by asking when last I had sex. I feel sorry for myself. However, I don't let it break me even though it makes me feel alone or that I'm the only one.

I'm single and I haven't found the right woman with the right connections or energy to hang out with. But I really need a woman in my life. I'm selectively social so I don't socialise a lot. I feel depressed at times, so I smoke to clear my head. I'm in a 9 to 5 job at a hotel. I really want to stop working for someone because I'm just going in a circle. Bills and low savings keep me moving slowly. I just want to be happy and take care of myself and my family. That would just be a blessing and forever happiness.

Give me your best advice to guide me.

J.

Dear J.,

You don't need to be embarrassed or ashamed to say that you are a virgin. If you have never had sex, that is what it is. You don't have to feel sorry for yourself either. It is better to wait on the Lord by praying and fasting over the matter and asking God to lead you. You say you are employed, but your salary is small. The good thing about you is that you are trying to save. Although you can't save big money because you don't make big money, you are being wise by putting away some of what you earn.

I believe that you are genuine and I will be praying that God will provide a good woman for you. So I say to you, continue to look to God. I also want to encourage you to go to church and socialise with the young people in your age group. God may have a young lady in your age group for you in church. I will be praying for you.

Pastor