Why did my wife cheat?

Dear Pastor,

I am 31 years old. I got married three years ago and it has been tough. My wife got involved with another man and our relationship started to go downhill. I could not understand why my beautiful wife had to cheat.

She admitted that she had cheated. I told her that I could not forgive her, because the man she cheated on me with was my friend, who got her pregnant. She promised to have an abortion, but I did not believe in abortion. The relationship could not work, so we went our separate ways.

The baby she conceived with my friend died and she asked me to forgive her, and so I did, and we got back together. Every time I think of what she did, it still bothers me. Why did this girl have to cheat? She was not broke. I gave her everything she needed. I am sorry that I got back with her. She is now asking me for a divorce. I believe that this is the right thing to do because what she did is still on my mind.

W.

Dear W.,

You mentioned that after you and this woman forgave each other, the child passed away, and you decided to take her back. However, you continued to dwell on what happened, and now you regret getting back together. The truth is, you never fully forgave her, and you believe it would have been better if you both had stayed apart. So, why did you reconcile in the first place? And what led her to cheat?

Now, you want her to leave, and you should allow her to go. Neither of you will find happiness in this relationship. Even if you both sought counselling and tried to forgive each other again, it's unlikely that things will work out, although you may still want to try. I encourage you to contact a marriage counsellor and set up an appointment to explore whether reconciliation is possible. If you do decide to meet again, I would be interested to hear how it goes.

Pastor