Girlfriend cheated on me because I gave her ‘bun’

Dear Pastor,

I am 22 years old and my girlfriend is the same age. Our relationship is not going very well.

She is not my first girlfriend. I love her. She is always looking for more from me. I know what I did some time ago was wrong, but I confessed to her that I was wrong and I needed her forgiveness and wanted to start all over. She said that she was not going to start over with me. We would have to get baptised again. I told her that wasn't necessary.

I went to see our pastor, who told her that if she loves me, it was not necessary for the both of us to get baptised again. This girl went out and found another man, so I told her that I did not want her any more. She didn't want to forgive me for the mistake I made, so why should I forgive her for her mistakes?

I had sex with a girl and my girlfriend found out. She asked me about it and I told her the truth. To spite me, she had sex with a couple of guys and wanted me to take her back. I refused because I do not want my woman to play around with a number of guys, and for men to see me and laugh at me as if I do not have any sense.

O.T.

Dear O.T.,

Your girlfriend and you should have gone back to see the pastor. I understand what you are trying to say.

Intelligent men don't want their women to move from man to man. When a man makes a mistake, the matter should be dealt with and everyone should move on. The same thing should happen when a woman makes a mistake. No man wants to know that his woman has been going around with different men. No one is perfect, but at the same time a man wants to know that his woman is true to him, and she should not give away what is rightfully his. Neither should he give away what is rightfully hers.

If this woman and you love each other and wanted the relationship to grow, and you did not feel that you should go back to see the pastor, you should have found another counsellor in whom you have confidence to speak to. Remember that in a good relationship one has to compromise. Some people learn that too late.

Pastor