I can't control my bladder

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem and I feel ashamed to write to you, but I know that you would try to help me. Pastor, I am a big woman. I am 35.

I am not married, but I have had boyfriends. Men have always asked me to come and spend time with them, but I don't go because of a problem I am having. I am going to go straight to it and tell you what it is.

I describe it as 'weak bladder'. At my age, I still wet the bed occasionally. When I was in university in the US, some of my friends wanted to come over and they used to also have what they call sleepover.

I did not go to these sleepovers, neither did I invite any of the girls to share my bed. I was afraid. Upon graduation, I shared my bed with an American guy in a hotel and I wet the bed. He took it as a big joke. I lied and told him that it must be because we were drinking.

He accepted it like that. That relationship did not go far because he was just playing around with me.

Wetting my bed really bothers me. I don't even like to talk to my doctor about it, but I have told my mother and she said that she thought that by now I had grown that out. When I was in high school and we went on summer vacation, some of my friends went to camp and came back and said what a wonderful time that they had.

I couldn't go to camp because I was afraid I would wet the bed and everybody would laugh at me; the whole school would know that I was wetting the bed.

I have lived with this problem, but now I have a challenge on my hands. I have found myself a loving man. He is the choir director at my church. He was married, but his wife died.

He told me that he loved me and in a vision, he saw that I would make him a good wife. I love him too. We have never slept together, but every once in a while I still wet the bed. I don't want to tell him that, so I have turned to you to ask for your advice.

I would like to get married and have even one child. Do you think I should tell this man about my problem? Don't ignore this letter, pastor. Please, write me back.

L.S.

Dear L.S.,

Many adults do wet the bed, and they do so because of some sort of medical condition they are experiencing. Therefore, it is not something that you should hide from your doctor. Your doctor needs to know so as to enable him or her to help treat your condition.

I know that you may be embarrassed to tell a man that you are wetting the bed. But, you should not be embarrassed to talk to your doctor about your problem. He or she would not laugh at you. Instead, they would be quite happy to help you deal with the problem.

The longer you take to discuss this with your doctor, the longer it would take to get over this problem. The man you slept with years ago accepted your explanation, but if you were to get married now and you wet the matrimonial bed a couple of times, your husband would question you on the matter.

Therefore, I suggest that you make an appointment with your family doctor as soon as possible.

I am glad that you have seen a man that you love and who loves you. Deal with the bed-wetting.

Pastor