Afraid of hurting my Christian lover

Dear Pastor,

I have three children. I am in love with the man who helps me with these children. The father of my oldest child supports her. He is abroad. I can always rely on him for money.

She is 12 years old. I was struggling with my two other children until I met this man. I was bouncing here and there for a place to live, until he found me a place. And he is mostly paying the rent.

My daughter will be joining her father. Very soon she would be out of my hand. This man wants to marry me. I told him I have not made up my mind because I can't have one foot in the church and one foot outside.

He told me people from the church are questioning him about me, so, I should make up my mind.

I don't want to see this man hurt. I love him, but I am not ready to be a Christian.

Y.T.

Dear Y.T.,

You can't force yourself to become a Christian. So if this man is wise and you have told him that you are not ready to become a Christian, he should leave you alone not only for a time, but he should leave you forever and find a woman who is serving the Lord, and both of them can have a good future.

You may ask him to continue to help you for a while.

He may not agree to that because he might be stretching himself thin, and he would need money to support another woman whom he may marry. But, I warn you, don't try to pretend that you are serving the Lord and you are not.

You would only be giving the impression that you are doing so to please this man.

Pastor