Parents don’t know I’m sexually active

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and my boyfriend is 20. He is very nice to me. He helps me a lot.

I come from a very poor home, and my father was involved in an accident. Since that time he has not been able to assist me very well, but my boyfriend has taken over that role. He gives me money to go to school, and I also get lunch money from him. We are not living far from each other. He told my mother how much he loves me.

My mother warned me not to get pregnant. I know that will not happen to me. My father is improving. He asked me if I really love this guy and I told him yes. He asked me how I know that it is not just infatuation. He spoke to my boyfriend and he asked him if we have been having sex. My boyfriend told me that he told my father no such thing was happening. I am glad that he told my father that. But Pastor, we have sex twice a week and I have the condoms in my bag.

My mother does not go into my bag. I do not take the condoms with me when I am attending school. One day, one of my teachers told the students that each of us should empty our bag on her table and I refused to do so. She asked me what I was hiding and I told her that I did not see the reason to show other girls what I wear, because when it is her time of the month, she would not want any of the girls to see what she uses. She told me to go ahead because I talked like a big woman. But I had condoms in my bags and I didn't want anybody to see them.

Whenever I don't see my boyfriend for about a week, I feel miserable and I wonder if he is cheating on me. He said he is not cheating and I believe him; but I love him so much. It is hard to stay away from him.

I would like you to explain the difference between 'infatuation' and 'love'.

P.H.,

Dear P.H.,

Psychologists say that infatuation is the sharp admiration for another person that may develop into romantic love; but infatuation may not develop at all.

It could be a brief admiration for a person. "Infatuation is the first stage of a relationship before developing into a mature intimacy," says one quote. People who claim to love at first sight may experience infatuation. There are those who say that infatuation is the first stage of love. As I understand it, infatuation has lots to do with lust ,and the lust is having a sexual desire to be with another person and it is not genuine.

Pastor