I don’t regret sleeping with many men

Dear Pastor,

I am in my late 20s and a university graduate. I hold two degrees - a bachelor's and a master's.

I thought that by now I would have been married with children. In fact, my goal was to have three children and that I would retire when I am 50. Now, I no longer even think about getting married, and having children of my own is not in my plans. In my job, I assist many young people.

After I lost my virginity at the age of 23, I had multiple partners. Looking back, I don't regret having these men in my life. I enjoyed my freedom. I studied abroad and I dated men from different cultures. I can say that Jamaican men are the worst men that I have experienced in my life. They are demanding and very cruel. They think that women are after them because of their 'tool.' The white girls make Jamaican men feel that way. I told these girls all the time that these men with large tools can't use them.

One of my best lovers was a half-Chinese man. The man was so romantic that any time we were together in bed, I didn't want him to stop. He did not have a large tool. Sometimes I reflect on my past life, and as I said before, I don't regret going with multiple men; but if I had a daughter, I wouldn't want her to live the way I have. I would want her to have one man in her life. I would want her to have children and give me grandchildren. My parents always ask me when I am going to give them grandchildren. That is something I regret not doing. But I would love to have grandchildren around me, so that they can inherit what I have.

Sometimes life gets a little lonely. I have everything to my comfort, but then I have my pillow and I sleep. You, Pastor, put me to bed from Monday to Thursday on your radio show. Yes, I do listen to you, and your show is enjoyable. I hope that one day when I am in Jamaica, I will be able to meet with you.

N.A.

Dear N.A.,

You said that you have had multiple partners, but I hope that you will bring that type of life to an end.

It is not good for a woman to have so many men. I am not condemning you, but it would have been better to have one man in your life. What is done is done, and you cannot wipe such memory from your mind.

It is true, many Jamaican men brag about the size of their penis. But I don't think it is fair to single Jamaican men out. Black men seem to take pride in the fact that they have been endowed with large penises. Some Rastamen advertise themselves as men who are very large. The late Barbara Gloudon used to say that "such men are jokers, they can't do anything; they only have mouth".

Perhaps the day will come when you will change your mind, and you will want to be married and settle down. You may not want to have biological children, but if you have taken care of many children, they will not neglect you when you are old and need their help. Now, take good care of yourself, madam. Whenever you are coming to Jamaica, you may call my office at 876-929-1667 or 876-877-1009, and I will be glad to meet with you.

Pastor