Husband blamed for getting neighbour’s wife pregnant

Dear Pastor,

Keep up the good work that you are doing. Your column in the paper doesn't miss me. I read them every day, but I miss the repeats of your radio show.

I am having a problem with my spouse. He used to have many girlfriends and he was always denying it. He took it as a big joke, but I love him so much. I didn't think of leaving him. I told him that he would die and leave these women; and he would die and leave me, too, and I will get another man because hair is not growing in my face. He told me he can trust me. One thing for sure, he spends on me.

About five years ago, I lost my job and he gave me the same amount of money I used to earn. And to help me to get over the lost of my job, he gave me a trip to London to spend some time with my mother.

There is this boldfaced girl who is living with her husband in the same complex. She loves my husband, but my husband has never admitted it. Her man gave her a spanking because he heard that she is with my husband. My husband would take down Christ from the cross. He said he has never gone to bed with the woman. I asked him why they are calling his name, but he can't answer.

Woman now pregnant

The problem is, the woman is now pregnant and her husband told her that she must leave because he is not the one who got her pregnant. He hasn't said anything to my husband, but my husband sees him and greets him. We went to a meeting where all four of us were there and we exchanged greetings. My husband and I left before the meeting was over because we didn't want to say anything personal to them.

This girl is much younger than I am. My husband said that if the girl knew that he got her pregnant, she would have said something to him by now. Her husband is just jealous. I told my husband that we couldn't live in the same complex with them if he is the father of this woman's child. It would be too much for me to bear. My husband was having an affair with one of the helpers in the complex and when she got pregnant, people said that it was his child, but the girl said that it was not the truth.

The girl left and went back to country, and I never heard from her again. I asked him for her a few times and he told me he doesn't know where she is. Sometimes I think I should ask this young lady if she is pregnant for my husband, but I am afraid to do so.

Please give me your advice. I should tell you that my husband and I do not have children together.

V.D.

Dear V.D.,

You know that your husband has had many girlfriends. He loves his women, but by reading your letter, I do not get the impression that he is a very silly man. He has not been throwing his seeds around. Perhaps he is always using the condom and if he isn't, he is probably unable to impregnate any woman, although people have accused him of doing so.

You say both of you do not have children. Is it because he can't have children or are you unable to get pregnant, or is it because you do now want any children, or you are not ready to become a mother?

If your husband is still playing around with other women, is he using the condom when both of you are having sex? If he is not using condoms, then you should realise that it is very unwise for you to have unprotected sex with him. He may become infected and pass on disease to you. So, please be careful.

Concerning the woman who is living in your complex, please do not confront this woman and ask her whether she got pregnant by your husband. It would be wrong to do so. Your husband told you that he is not guilty of that. Time will tell if he is.

Pastor