Sleeping with my former student

Dear Pastor,

I am 43 years old and I am writing to you for your advice. I read your column often and it is very interesting and entertaining. I never thought that I would have to write to you, so please don't publish my initials.

I was once married, but the relationship with my husband did not last. We agreed to separate for a while, but after six months we saw that we should remain apart. I have always been close to my students and that is why I am writing to you, because I have found myself loving one of my past students. He is a fine young man.

One day I got two tickets to attend a function and I called this young man and asked him if he could take me; he said yes, he would be happy to do so. I walked into the function with my hand in the arm of this young man and all eyes looked at me. He was well bred. We enjoyed our time together and I told him he could drop me home and keep the car until the following day. Some of my girlfriends questioned me about him and asked me if I loved him. I told them that was not their business, but they said they saw twinkles in my eyes, so that means I like him. I really do love this young man. We went out a couple of times after that and I asked him about his girlfriend. He said he did not have one.

I bought him some nice shirts and we went to eat at Port Royal. I must admit that I convinced this guy to have sex with me. He was constantly calling me 'Teacher', so I stopped him and told him to call me by my first name. I do not allow him to pick me up at the school, but there are some teachers who are in my age group who know that something is going on between the young man and I.

Do you think anything is wrong with this relationship? I am eager to hear from you.

Initial Withheld

Dear Writer,

Evidently, you love this young man, but the question is, does he love you? He is no longer your student.

When your ex-husband finds out that you are going with this young man, he may curse you and say unkind things, but you don't have to take him on. It is not the business of your colleagues to question you. If you love this young man and he loves you, both of you need to speak to a counsellor in person, and he or she will make suggestions to you.

Remember that although this man is young, you will have to learn to respect him, and not to push him around like a boy.

Pastor