Sleeping with my friend’s son-in-law

Dear Pastor,

I am 62 years old and I am married. My husband and I don't have any children, but I love him, and I am sure that he loves me.

We have our own home and we are financially stable. Anything I want, he gives it to me; he is not a mean man. But Satan has got between us. I got messed up with a young guy. I went to spend a weekend with a girl who I have known for a long time. She is the daughter of one of my friends. From the time I saw her husband, I could not resist him. He is from Guyana and he likes to cook. So he told me that he was going to cook some Guyanese food for me, and his wife told him that she was sure that I would enjoy it. So one Sunday, he decided to do the cooking. His wife went out and bought everything that he told her to buy. I enjoyed his cooking so much, I asked him to cook for me again.

I know that it may sound strange to you, but I have never admired a man so much. I know girls complain that men pinch them or touch them on their bottom, but I have never heard a man complaining that a girl touched him. But every time this man passed by me, I had to touch him. The first time it happened, he said, "Be careful now," and I laughed. I kept doing so a number of times until he asked me, "What do you want from me?" I asked him what he suspected, and told him that I wanted him. He could not believe that I was telling him the truth. He told me that that could be arranged before I leave.

To cut a long story short, I ended up in this man's arms, not once or twice, but four times when his wife was not at the house. He has told me that he wants my husband and I to come and visit them. I don't know what to do. My husband says that if I want to go for vacation, he would not stop me. I have made up my mind not to go, because I am afraid that this man's wife may find out about us. She is a much younger girl and I can't manage her. We may end up having a fight.

What do you think I should do?

D.L.

Dear D.L.,

Lust is not a one-sided thing. A woman can lust after a man, and that lust can be very strong.

Sometimes when a woman is lusting after a man and he resists her, she may make up stories against him. Stories are told of a certain woman in the Bible who wanted a young man, who resisted her and tried to escape her. In pulling away from her, he left his shirt in her hand and when her husband got home, she lied to her husband that the young man had tried to rape her and she fought him off. That was not true at all.

A seminarian who was studying for the sacred ministry told me that one of his female colleagues loved him, insisted that they should have sex, and he told her no. Eventually they hugged each other and he had to fight her off. He was very nervous about the whole thing, but it did not get to the dean of students. I raise that to say to you that lust is on both sides. This seminarian told me that the young woman cursed him and told him that everybody was doing it.

You should have at least tried to resist the temptation to be sexually involved with the husband of your friend's daughter; it must be that you really love him. You went to bed with him up to four times. I am glad that you decided that you would not accept his invitation to visit him. Let this thing die. It will die a natural death if you do not continue to fan the fire.

Pastor