Ashamed that I slept with my sister’s husband

Dear Pastor,

I am 22 and I did something a couple of months ago that I am ashamed about.

I was babysitting for my sister who called me and asked me to stay with her child, because her helper called and said that she was unable to work. She has a full-time helper. I told my sister that I would come early in the morning. She told me that she would pay me $3,000 for the day; I told her she didn't have to pay me anything. Her husband suggested that I could come from the night before. So my sister and her husband came by and picked me up.

My sister left for work early in the morning and she told me what to do. I took care of the baby and my sister called me several times during the day. About 11 a.m., her husband showed up. I was not expecting him. While he was here, my sister called and I told her he was at the house. She was surprised to hear that he was at home. She spoke to him and he gave her a reason why he was at home. He told her that he was only checking in on me to see if everything was alright.

When the baby fell asleep, I told my sister's husband that I was going to the bathroom to take a shower. He said that was wise. While I was in the bathroom, he knocked on the door and I answered. I told him to give me a few minutes and I would soon be out. Soon after, he knocked again and he opened the door and came in on me. I was very surprised. I tried to cover up and he said I didn't have to because he knows what I have. He held me. I told him that I could not have sex with him because he is my sister's husband. He said nobody would know and he would not discharge in me.

This man started to play with me and he touched my soft spots and he dried me off and lifted me on to the bed. I lost control of myself and I kept saying no, but he told me to stop. He soon had his penis in my vagina and I gave up. I knew when he discharged in me and I climaxed. I started to cry and he dried my face. He did not use protection, so for the entire month after we had sex, I was fretting. But now I know that I am not pregnant because my period came. He also gave me money to buy the Pill.

Later in the evening, he went and picked up my sister and I had to put on a brave face to look at her. The morning-after Pill has really worked for me, but I feel ashamed to know that I had sex with my sister's husband. I told him he could never get me to stay at his house alone again. To him, it is a big joke because he keeps saying how I did it very nicely. I have asked myself this question repeatedly: suppose he had got me pregnant? I think I would have killed myself.

P.N.

Dear P.N.,

Unfortunately, you surrendered yourself to this man. He is an immoral man. But you will have to learn to forgive yourself.

This is not something that you can discuss with your sister. She would never trust you with her husband again. In any case, you know that you can't trust him around you. Neither can you encourage any female relative to be in his company alone. I wish you well and I am glad that he did not get you pregnant.

Pastor