Boyfriend’s family think I gave him a ‘jacket’

Dear Pastor,

I am 27 years old and my boyfriend is 33. We have one daughter. This child is his only child.

He loves her, but from the time she was born, some of his relatives told him that she is a 'jacket'. He is of light complexion, but the child is dark-skinned. They say that she should have been of a lighter complexion because the child comes from him. To make matters worse, some of his relatives know that I used to have a boyfriend before I met this man. So they are saying that the child belongs to that man.

When I met my present boyfriend, I told him about that man and that we had broken up, so my boyfriend knows the truth. But it still bothers me, because even his mother asked me about the relationship with the other guy, and I told her the whole truth. She said I should not listen to what people say; she was prepared to defend me.

I told my child's father that we should do a DNA test to set the matter straight. He said that he is not prepared to spend any money on that because he knows the truth. These people around me are ignorant. They don't talk like intelligent people. Sometimes I wonder if his mother believes them but she does not want me to know that she believes them. It is hard to live with people who you know don't like you.

At present, I am pregnant with my second child. I have a green card. I am thinking of getting married before it is time for me to give birth. With all that is happening now, I have been advised to go back to America and have the child there. My first child was born in America. What do you suggest that I do? I do not want to be away too long from my boyfriend. I would love to get your suggestion.

K.T.

Dear K.T.,

People should learn to stay out of other people's business. You know the truth about yourself, and your boyfriend knows the truth about himself.

Don't allow rumours to disturb you. Concerning your present pregnancy, you should do what is convenient for you to do. I am not a lawyer, but you have your green card, and if your boyfriend and you intend to live in America, I do not see why both of you can't get married now and you go to America and have your child there.

But I don't want to mislead you, so perhaps what you should do is discuss this matter with an immigration lawyer.

Pastor