Fiancé was shocked that I was a virgin

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column since I was a teenager. Now I am 23 years old and about to be married.

I was a virgin up to one year ago. My husband-to-be did not believe me when I told him I was still a virgin. I grew up in a very strict home. I have two sisters and one brother. My older sister got married and I was a bridesmaid at her wedding. I knew when my younger sister started to have sex.

I made a pledge that I would not have sex with any man unless I knew that he would marry me. So when I met my fiance and he told me he had been admiring me for a long time, I told him that I had not been admiring him, so if he is looking for a girl just to go to bed with him, I would not be interested in him. He told me that he had sex with many girls, but he was looking for a wife. After going out with him for six months, I agreed to have sex with him. That first evening when we had sex, he told me, "My girl, I did not know that you were telling me the truth about being a virgin." I still have a long way to go. Everything I am learning about sex is from this man. I want to be the best lover. He bought me books, some of which are wild.

My younger sister and I are still living at home, but I am engaged and hope to be married this August. I don't regret having sex with this man. I am wearing an engagement ring. I am working, and my parents love him. My dad said he knows that the wedding will cost him, but he will do his best to give me what I would need for my wedding. My godmother, who is living in the USA, will buy the wedding gown.

My fiance wanted us to get married in a hotel, but I would prefer to get married at my church. That is where I grew up and I want to receive the blessings from my pastor. I did not fool my fiance. I said I was a virgin and I was speaking the truth.

R.E.

Dear R.E.,

I am glad to know that you are engaged and that you will be married in August.

I want to wish your fiance and you the very best in life. Often, when a young lady is getting married and she is still living at home, it may cost her father a lot of money to have an impressive reception. In some countries, the man may have to pay the parents of the bride a hefty sum before she can become his wife. Your father knows that it may cost him money to get you off his hands, so to speak, but he is prepared to do so.

I congratulate you for endeavouring to be a good girl, if I may say so. Your fiance knows now for sure that you did not fool him when you told him that you were a virgin. Let me hear from you after you have got married. I wish you well.

Pastor