Juggling two men and I can’t decide

Dear Pastor,

I am a 25-year-old woman. I have my own property and I am in a very good job. I have not been in a relationship for four years.

However since I started dating, I found myself in a love triangle between two men. One is a white man who has children. He takes good care of me, financially and emotionally, and he wants to marry me. The other man is separated from his wife. He also has children and takes good care of me. Here's the twist; I couldn't decide who to be with totally, so I tried both men sexually on different occasions. The white man is good at oral sex, but he is very small and the other man is a professional when it comes to oral sex and he has a big thing.

Pastor, I really need your help deciding who to choose.

S.F.

Dear S.F.,

You know what you should do; I am sure of that. You are only trying to get me mixed up in your affairs.

You were without a man, you said, for four years, and then you started to have sex again, taking money from two men. Both of these men, according to you, are taking good care of you. I suppose you mean that they spend big money on you.

One of these men is white, but you didn't mention if he is married. What you like about him is not just the money that he gives to you, but the fact that you enjoy having oral sex with him. As I read your letter, again I am reminded of the time when people did not speak openly about oral sex. Now some women are saying if a man is not going to do that with them, they will not have relationships with them.

I was travelling to North America and sitting next to me on the plane was a nurse. She knew me as a counsellor, so she raised the subject of oral sex and told me that any man who is not doing that is not doing anything. She was very serious as she made that comment. I still remember hearing certain men saying that they are not 'bowing down'. Now they are no longer saying that. A man called me on the Dear Pastor Show and he declared that if a man cannot 'stand up to it', he has to 'face up to it'.

Well, back to you and the men you are going with. As I said, you did not declare whether the white man is married, but your disappointment in him is that he has a small penis. The black man is very good at oral sex and he treats you very well too. It seems to me that you love money. He is very 'gifted', but it is the oral sex you like.

You need to be careful. Please remember that you should not be having oral sex with two different men because you do not know which of them may be carrying a disease. Settle with one man and stop having unprotected sex. Try to get one of them to marry you. I think I have said enough on this matter.

Pastor