Older boyfriend doesn’t want me to go abroad

Dear Pastor,

I greet you in the name of the Lord. I have a problem that I would like to mention to you.

I am a 19-year-old girl and I have a boyfriend. He is everything to me. I know that people who know him think that I am with him because he comes from a wealthy family and he can give me anything I want. That is true. I said that to him recently and he said that people are just jealous of him. Sometimes when we go out, people are always staring at us. We have got accustomed to it and he tells me I shouldn't make these things bother me.

He has a daughter who is my age and she knows that her father and I are having a relationship. It doesn't bother her. He was taking me on one of his business trips to Montego Bay and he told me that she wanted to come with us. He said that if I didn't mind, he would take her as well. I told him, "You can take her, she is your daughter." People asked us if we were sisters and she told them yes. I didn't say a word.

Her mother left this man from the time she was a baby, so he took care of her and always has a helper. The helper does everything - she cooks, washes and cleans. The first time he took me to his house, the helper told me that he is a kind, gentle man. She asked me my age and I lied to her. We have been going together now for three years. I am in school and this man gives me everything I want. He is a little jealous, but I told him he doesn't need to be because I will never cheat on him.

I want to go abroad to study but he does not want me to go. He said if I go away, I will not come back and that would put him in his grave before time. I would like to be a pilot. Ever since I was a child, that has been my dream. I know I am young. This man is in his 40s and he is sweeter than honey. Please don't tell me to leave him.

C.W.

Dear C.W.,

You are a brave girl. This man has taken on a lot. Although you are his lover, you and his daughter can pass for sisters.

I am not going to tell you to leave him because I don't want you to insult me. You talk as if you are an experienced woman. You know how to protect yourself. I can only say that I wish you well.

Pastor