No sex until Mr or Miss RIGHT comes along

There is a growing number of people who are single even though they want to be in relationships, but they have been unsuccessful in trying to find a partner. These people, in an effort to find the right partner, withhold sexual interactions until they make that connection and find themselves in a state of involuntary celibacy.

Some individuals end up going for years without any sexual connection with another person even though they desire having such a connection. There has been an online movement created with some of these individuals who call themselves “incels”.

We live in a society where many of the traditional family structures have changed. Marriages are no longer arranged, for the most part, and so many persons are choosing to focus on their career or to delay marriage until after they have achieved certain other goals in their lives. In addition, the act of finding a suitable partner is more challenging in this fast-paced, social media-driven world.

Meeting someone and forging a bond with that person strong enough to create a lasting connection is very challenging, and not everyone is able to manoeuvre this exercise.

Looking at the online ‘incel’ community, which comprises mostly men, the general belief is that they are alone because modern women are shallow and stupid for not choosing them. This community tends to attract men who are misogynist, and who blame their plight on others although the men who eventually find relationships tend to leave the online community.

There is a very violent side to some ‘incels’, and it has manifested itself in extreme ways. At least two of the mass shooters in the United States have written in their manifestos that they identified with the ‘incel’ ideology, explaining their actions as taking revenge on the world that hadn’t given them the women they thought they deserved.

Outside of this online community, involuntary celibacy affects women who are also trying to find love and sexual connection without success. Much of it has to do with having other goals as well as just trying to live through all the challenges of modern life.

Perhaps it’s time for everyone to get out of their own way and get back to the basics of human interaction. Getting to know each other on a personal level can open the door to creating sexual intimacy.

Life has many responsibilities and distractions, but it takes a commitment from both parties to forge a bond and create something that is fulfilling.

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