Haunted by my aborted baby

Six months ago, Jane Smith* found out that she was pregnant and decided she was going have an abortion.

“I was just not ready for children. First of all, the pregnancy was a result of a one-night stand, and mi bruk, so baby was not an option,” she said.

After consulting with a friend about her situation, she was recommended to a man, who is not a doctor, who Smith was told could help her get rid of the baby.

She told THE WEEKEND STAR that  she paid $20,000 to have the abortion done. 

"The man did tell mi seh mi might feel some pain while the blood a come out, but after three days mi supposed to good. Mi nah lie, the pain rock mi body really bad but apart from that, him never tell mi much. Him just seh a nuh supm mi fi do all the time," she said.

She said that her life was back on track after the abortion and she was living life as though nothing had happened. But the peace of mind that Smith was hoping for after the abortion didn't materialise. The 23-year-old said that three months after the procedure, she began having nightmares. She said that it started one Sunday evening while she was watching television and had dozed off.

“Mi not even know what happen. Mi did a watch a TV show and fall asleep. All of a sudden mi see myself inna the room (where the abortion was done) and mi hear mi baby a cry. Mi jump out a mi sleep and start cry too because the thought was so painful,” she said.

The months that followed were horrifying for Smith. She told THE WEEKEND STAR that she could not sleep at nights without feeling pain and her mental health was affected. 

“Sometimes mi just feel really bad and the pain is more than I can bear. More while mi just feel to tek mi life so I can get out of this misery but mi nah do it because I know it is something I have to live with,” she said.

She said that she took steps to help get back her mental health by going to therapy, and it has helped her.

“Things got so bad that I had to see a therapist. I was literally feeling pain when I tried to sleep. It was like every time I tried to sleep, I was being punished for what I did. This feeling is something that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy,” she said.

Smith said she encourages people to be careful in order to avoid being in her position.

“I got pregnant out of carelessness. I just encourage young people to be careful because the pain is not easy to come back from,” she said.