Secret ‘sex club’ taken out of church

A weekly after-church secret sex club that catered to the needs of emotionally drained and sexually dissatisfied Christian women is in search for a new home.

Candy, the pastor's wife who has led this sex group without the knowledge of her spouse, has decided that the sanctuary is not the place for these activities. At the same time, she declared her intention to step away from her duties in the church, arguing that she now feels "called" to support women in ways the institution does not.

"This isn't me rejecting the church," she told THE WEEKEND STAR. "I'm just simply recognising and acknowledging that this particular work requires a different environment."

For the past five years, Candy has operated a secret sex club for women who feel their marriages -- or their lives -- lack passion. After church services weekly, she and about 25 women gather in the sanctuary to have their world rocked by men who are recruited to provide services.

Some women have stopped attending the sessions since the operations in the 'club' were reported by this newspaper. Candy said one of the biggest lessons for her is the importance of boundaries.

"Going forward, there would be clear guidelines about what the space is and what it is not," she said.

"Since coming forward I have lost a couple participants, and it really made me reflect on all this. I have to create a controlled, respectful environment where people can actually process what they're dealing with."

The disclosure fuelled debate, with some religious leaders condemning the activities as inappropriate, while others argued that it exposed long-standing silence around intimacy and fulfilment in marriages.

Now, Candy said the reactions have reinforced her belief that the issue runs deeper than many are willing to admit.

"I understand why people reacted the way they did," she said. "From the outside, it's easy to reduce it to something sensational. But that's not the full picture. Sometimes what looks wrong on the surface is really a response to something that has been ignored for too long."

Candy said she has been forced to confront her own place within the church and whether her evolving perspective can coexist with its expectations.

"The Church has structure and doctrine, and I respect that," she said. "But I'm also realising that there are lived experiences that don't always fit neatly into those structures, and the reality is, the Church is not always the easiest place to have these conversations."

Candy suggested that the demand that gave rise to the secret sex club has not disappeared.

"You can stop a space, but you can't switch off what people are experiencing internally," she said.

Her intention now is to establish a safe, structured space for women to openly explore and address relationship challenges.

"My intentions haven't changed," she insisted. "What's changing is the environment and how it's being carried out."

Her intention now is to develop a structured, support-based platform where women can openly discuss relationship challenges, including intimacy issues and emotional disconnect.

She was careful to draw a clear line between the proposed initiative and any formal religious setting.

"Church members are adults with real-life experiences and real relationship issues like everyone else," Candy said. "If someone from the church chooses to attend or participate, that would be their personal decision. But it would no longer be connected to church activities, church leadership or the church environment in any way."