A lifetime of pain

Dear Pastor

I am 23. I deal with a lot of problems on a daily basis. First, I don't think I know what love is. I know a grandmother's love but ever since she passed I feel like I am stuck, and keep making the wrong decisions. She was my world, my best friend and everything to me. I can't get over the fact that she is gone.

I have dated only two guys within my age group. They both cheated. One cheated on me with five different women, including my best friend. The other cheated with his ex-girlfriend. He got another woman pregnant. They live together but he still wants to date me.

We have been on and off for eight years. What hurts me most is I was molested as a child by two men, every day, for almost a year. I have not gotten over it.

I fear for my life every day. I have nightmares. Because of that I don't love myself. I don't think I am pretty. I have low self-esteem.

My mother gave me away from birth and does nothing for me. I grew up in the church. I know suicide is a sin. I am not going to do it but, at times, I ask why I am here when I don't serve a purpose.

Please, pastor, I need your help. I will be waiting for your reply.

S.R

Dear S.R.,

There is no easy answer to your problem because you have had almost a lifetime of problems, one after the other. What I believe should happen now is for you to meet with a family counsellor or psychologist for therapy.

To trust somebody. You to call my office and ask my assistant to allow you to speak to me.

In the meantime, I will be praying for you. The Lord is able to strengthen you and to make you grow in grace.

Pastor