My man is a sex addict

Dear Pastor,

I have been with my significant other for a year and three months. He is a gentleman and makes my life easy. However, I have a problem. He is a sex addict. Pastor, this guy spends a lot of time on the phone entertaining other females. He tells them what he would love to do to them. They also exchange photos of their private parts.

The first time I caught him doing it was during my pregnancy and he promised it wouldn't happen again. I believed and forgave him. A week later, I noticed he put a code on the message app on his phone. I didn't say anything about it. I allowed it to pass.

One day, I asked my mother to text me on his phone and that's how I got the code for the phone. Every single day he meets someone new and keeps telling me that it doesn't mean anything because he loves me and wouldn't cheat. Knowing the type of person he is, I am confused about his actions.

This guy wants sex from me every night. What should I do?

D.A.

Dear D.A.,

This man is behaving as if he cannot be satisfied. I get the impression that most of what he is doing is online. I could be wrong but that's how it appears to me. At least you know where he is.

He is a man with a lot of mouth and dirty habits. He gets his 'kicks' from women sending their private parts to him. He does the same to them. I am not saying that if he gets the opportunity that he would not have sex with these women, but he is one of the men who delights in engaging women in sex talk or phone sex.

Sometimes these men give the impression that they can't help themselves. You said it started when you were pregnant but continued after you gave birth. He promised that he would not cheat. You can't take his word.

Many women have tried to keep up with men who want sex every night but become frustrated whenever they refuse to meet the needs of these men because the men threaten to go to other women.

The guys forget that they will run out of steam eventually. Encourage this man to get help. Don't curse him, spend more time at the house with him.

Let him know that he doesn't have to hide anything from you because you are aware of what is happening to him.

Both of you should communicate with each other about the problem and perhaps see a family counsellor together.

Pastor