I have no luck with men

Dear Pastor,

I have been friendly with a man for seven years. I met him through a telephone call. He dialed my number by mistake and we started to talk to each other.

At that time, I had a man and this guy was calling me so often that my boyfriend started to question what was going on.

One night, my boyfriend and I were having sex and the phone rang and it was the man. My boyfriend answered and told him not to call back.

I told my boyfriend that he should not have told him to call back. He should have told him not to call so late. That caused my boyfriend to think that I was in love with the guy.

He didn't continue having sex with me that night because he was so angry. He started to pack up his clothes to leave, and I told him that if he loved me, he wouldn't leave me and I wanted us to finish having sex. He told me that I should call the guy to finish having sex with me.

I did not believe that he would leave me over this man, but I became closer to the man.

After I realised that my boyfriend was not coming back, this man started to visit me. He told me that he didn't have a woman but that he had three children with two different women.

I told him to bring the children for me to meet them. They were five, six, and nine years old. He introduced me to the children and he told them that I was their stepmother. I grew to love this man.

HOUSE

He had a house but lost it. The bank took back the house because he had lost his job and could not pay the mortgage. He had nothing except an old car.

He got a job and he moved in with me. I helped to rebuild this man. Then I noticed that he was always on his phone talking to a woman. I found out that she was one of his children's mothers. I asked him why they had to talk every day. He said that is how she was.

But it was more than that, Pastor. They were still together. He said that he didn't love her anymore, but it was a lie.

One day I called the woman and she was very nice. She told me that he said that I had tied him to me and that he was trying to get out, but every time he tried, something held him back, so he was going to stop eating from me because the witchcraft could be in the food.

OLD CAR

This man has more than $150,000 for me. He borrowed it to work on his old car and to send his children back to school. I told him that he should give me back my money and go and live with his child's mother.

When I told him what I had heard, he denied it. I want this man to go because apart from sex, I don't get anything from him. He is of no benefit to me.

Why are some men so ungrateful? The children all love me. I told him that they could come back and see me anytime.

He credited an engagement ring and gave it to me. I gave it back to him. I don't know why I would want to tie a man who can't even buy a proper pair of shoes and bend down to tie the laces.

My girlfriend told me that I shouldn't have given him back the engagement ring, but Pastor, I don't want anybody to show up at my house because the ring was not paid for.

Since I have left this man, I have been out with two other men. I don't know if I can believe them. These are men in their 50s and they are giving me the same old story that they don't have any other woman in their lives.

A.B.

Dear A.B.,

I regret hearing that you got involved with a liar. I know that some people dial numbers at random, and when the phone is answered, they will ask for a name and try to engage the person who answered the phone in a conversation.

I don't know whether you believe this man was telling the truth. From what has developed between the both of you, I doubt that he was speaking the truth.

Your former boyfriend had to be upset. You allowed this guy to call you at any time during the day or night, and any man would feel that there was something going on between the both of you.

Your ex-boyfriend was a man of principle, and that is why he walked away from you.

INTIMATE

I don't know how much time you gave yourself after you became intimate with another man.

Perhaps part of your problem is that you fall in love easily and you give your life to men and they take advantage of you.

This guy who was living at your house lied his way into your heart. You were quite right in kicking him out. He is a user. Now, you should go easy with the guys you are currently dating.

Don't let them burn your pocket. Be cautious. You are going to need your money. Hold on to it tightly.

I hope you will not allow this man to get away with the money he borrowed from you. He ought to pay back every cent. Tell him that you will accept the money by instalments. If he fails to give you back your money, take him to court.

Pastor