Love being this guy’s side chick

Dear Pastor,

I am a 17-year-old girl and I am a little confused about a problem. I am from a poor family.

My father is a labourer and my mother does day's work. She has five children for four different men. I am the only child she has with my father. He did what he could for me, and sometimes he still gives me help.

I became sexually active one year ago with a man who lives about a mile from our house. This man is living with his children's mother, but they are not married. He offered me a ride one day to go to school, and that is where our relationship started. He told me that he had always admired me. He told me not to be afraid to ask him for anything, so right there I said I didn't have any money. He gave me $3,000 and his telephone number; I gave him mine. A few days later, he called me and told me to meet him at a certain place; I did, and he gave me lunch money. He asked me if I had a boyfriend and I told him I did, but he was not a serious boyfriend.

He told me to meet him in Half -Way Tree at the park about 6 p.m. on Saturday. I lied and told my parents that I was going to study with friends, so I took my school bag with me. This man and I went to Port Royal. We had fish, but before he took me home he had sex with me. It was not the first time I was having sex, but it was the first time I was having sex with such a big man. I am still having a relationship with him. When I don't see him or hear from him, it is like I am going crazy.

Recently, he told me that he would have to stop seeing me because somebody told his woman that they saw us at a hotel. It was true, because he took me there on that date. He also said that he is planning to marry the woman. I don't know what to do. I don't feel I can live without this man because since we have been together, I have never been broke. He has given me money to buy clothes and shoes and to do my hair. I have not had to do anything for him expect have sex. He said I would get over him, but until I do, I can be his side chick. He would still give me the amount of money that he has been giving me, but I will not see him often. I do not know where to turn to find a man like him.

This woman wants to get baptised; that is one of the reasons why he is going to marry her. What can you say to me to guide me?

O.A.

Dear O.A.,

This man has been very good to you, but his favours have come with a price.

I am sorry to know that you believe that there isn't any other man in the world who may treat you as well as this man. If you were to surrender yourself to the good Lord, he may provide a man for you at the right time. You are only 17; perhaps now is not the right time for you to be sexually active and for you to be using your body to earn a living.

Mark you, I am not condemning you. I understand your background; you have stated that your parents are poor and you have been trying to help yourself. Perhaps you can seek a weekend job that might even pay you more than what you get from this man. Although you would miss this man and his help, you will not die. You will not only survive, but you will get ahead. So I will not encourage you to be his side chick.

I gather that you are still in school. So my suggestion to you is to study hard and pursue a career.

Pastor