Wife pregnant for another guy

Dear Pastor,

I am asking you for your advice. I have been married for seven years. My wife and I have one child. That child is living with me. My wife is 10 years younger than I am. I took her to America for a vacation. Her sister and her sister’s husband lived in New York. My folks live in Pennsylvania. She was supposed to spend one week with them and come to Pennsylvania and spend four days with me and my relatives. We prepared for her, but the day she planned to come she called and said that she will come another day.

I did not know that it was a set-up, and that her people had found a man for her, and they didn’t want her to come to Pennsylvania because the man wanted her to stay in New York to get to know her better. I spoke to her sister and told her that she should come for at least two days. When she came, she tried to convince me that I should allow her to stay longer in America.

I trusted this woman, pastor.  Nothing crossed my mind about her having another man. I gave her permission to stay in America longer. And to cut a long story short, she got involved with this new man and became pregnant. She told me that the guy forced her into having sex with her, and because he was going to do something for her, she had sex with him, but she loves me and I must forgive her.

How can I forgive this woman? We have our own home in Jamaica. We are not suffering. I am working. I am not making a million dollars per month, but our bills are paid. Why should my wife let down herself in this manner?

The guy who got her pregnant is a young guy. Now her sister is blaming her and calling her worthless. Now she wants to come home, but I do not want her here. I told her that she can stay and let her new man take care of her. She says she hardly sees him since she told him that he got her pregnant.

Her sister is trying to find the guy to get money for her to have an abortion. My wife did not have to have sex with this guy. I don’t hate her because she is the mother of my child, but she is not welcome back into my house. Am I wrong, pastor? Tell me what to do.
G.T.

Dear G.T.
I think what you are trying to say is that from the time your wife got to America her relatives did not want her to return to Jamaica. And although she is married to you, they felt that if they were able to find a man for her, they could convince her to have an affair with that man and divorce you and marry that man so that the man would be in a position to file for her.

They found a man, but he was not going to be tricked. He indeed had an affair with your wife. As far as he was concern, he wanted sex from her to carry out the deal and he convinced her, and he didn’t care. He got her pregnant.  Now, he cannot be found. They want her to do an abortion now that she is pregnant.

I don’t blame you for not wanting her back in your life. Why should you? Let your wife’s relatives help her. Let her have her baby. They ought to know where the man lives or work and let him stand up to his obligation.  Don’t encourage her to do an abortion. Don’t have blood on your hands. But she has done enough to disqualify herself from being your wife.

Pastor