Boyfriend promised to care for me and my child

Dear Pastor,

I am a 41-year-old woman and I want to talk to you about something that I have not got out of my mind.

I know that you are not going to condemn me because you are a fair man. My sister and I grew up together. My father was a very hard worker, but money was not always available for him to give us the little extra things that we needed as girls.

My sister and I started to have sex early. Even our mother told us we were old enough to have boyfriends. Some of the guys were allowed to visit us. My sister and I became pregnant, but the guys said that they were not responsible for our pregnancies. I met another guy and he told me that he would take care of me, but I would have to live with him. My mother said that I should not live with any man. This guy gives me money every week.

My sister's boyfriend started to take care of his child. She used to pay me for taking care of both her child and mine. My mother got a job, so I became like the maid in the house; but she did most of the housework. Then my sister's boyfriend asked me to be friends with him. He tried a number of times to get me to go to bed with him, but I told him no. He said he always loved me, but I told him I didn't always love him.

I met another man who started to support me, and that is what he has been doing until now. I really love him. I am not short of anything now. I would love to take my child's father to court, but my boyfriend is saying I should leave him alone and he will continue to support my child and I.

This man has promised to send me back to school. My mother doesn't run around as much; and she told me that she will continue to help me.

R.T.

Dear R.T.,

You have made your mistakes and I want to encourage you to put them behind you and move forward.

The man who got you pregnant has not accepted paternity, but that does not mean that you are a liar. So many men don't speak the truth, but often they regret not accepting paternity. Then as their children grow, they yearn to be with them.

This man has offered to send you to school. Accept the offer and do your very best to study and do well. I repeat, you have made mistakes, but you can move on. It is not the end of the world. So put your mistakes behind you and start over. Ignore your sister's boyfriend. You don't have to get involved with him to make a life; stay with the man who is now interested in you.

Pastor