Wife does not want to have my baby Wife does not want to have my baby

Dear Pastor,

I hope you can give me your advice. I am 35 years old and I have two children. I am married but my wife is not the mother of these children.

My wife has a son who lives with her sister. Her sister is a principal of a school, so she takes him to school. I love the boy, so he comes to visit us most weekends. Before my wife and I got married, she agreed that we should try to have a child of our own.

She is a deceiver. I couldn't understand how come we are not using any protection and she cannot get pregnant. One day, I was having a conversation with one of my wife's friends, and I mentioned that I had been trying to get my wife pregnant, but nothing seemed to be happening. She asked me if I could keep a secret, and I agreed. She then told me that my wife doesn't want to have another child - she's content with the one she already has. At first, I thought she was just talking nonsense, but she insisted it was true. She suggested that if I didn't believe her, I should talk to my wife and suggest that both of us go see a doctor. I told her I had already been checked out and didn't need to go through that again. After all, I already have two children, and my wife has one.

I could not get over what my wife friend told me, so one day I ask my wife if she truly wants to get pregnant by me. She responded by saying the older she gets is the more she does not want to think about getting pregnant. She says she likes her freedom.

I asked her why she lied to me and pretended that she would love us to have a child together. She said it is only since we are married that she has changed, but my two children and her one are enough.

This thing is bothering me so much; I would so much like to have a boy child to carry my name. I can never trust this woman any more. I have my own house and where we are living belongs to my parents. I am going to inherit this place because that is what they told me. I have siblings who do not intend to come back to Jamaica. I do not want to get mixed up with any other woman, but I need a boy child. I do not know whether my wife is on the injection or what kind of protection she is using. I have searched everywhere to see whether she is on the Pill but I have not seen any evidence of it.

How can I handle this wicked woman? I have made her very comfortable, but right now I am not a happy man.

Disappointed Man

Dear Writer,

Let me comment on this letter by telling you of a situation that I know very well. A dear lady came to see me at the office. She was living with a man and she spoke very highly of him. He took very good care of her. She was never in need. But this man did not have any children. The woman who came to see me had two children and she was educated. Both of them agreed that after they were married, they would try to have a child.

Remember, she had two children and the man didn't have any. She came to me and told me that she told the man she agreed to get pregnant because she wanted to be married. She was not on the Pill. This woman was taking the injection. She went to the clinic, she told me, regularly. She used that method, so she never got pregnant however; her husband and she lived happily. But what she did rested on her mind. That man supported her two children, sent them to college, was faithful to her, and never went outside the marriage to try to get another woman pregnant.

I mention this to you to tell you that some women are deceivers. One can call some of these women scammers. They have their way of scamming men and lying their way through life. From the very beginning, this woman who came to see me knew that she had no intention of wanting another child, but she wanted to get married. Some women are liars and it is not very easy for a man to know when they are lying. This woman who lied to this man is now single again because her husband has died. He went to his grave believing that she told him the truth.

I can't encourage you to waste your time and money on doctors. The truth is, you know, that your wife is a liar; neither can I encourage you to get involved with another woman. You may go to a counsellor who may help you to learn to live with this woman, but that is the only thing I wish to tell you at this time. Trust is very difficult to rebuild. I wish you well.

Pastor