Good friend slept with my husband

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am married and I have two children. During my pregnancy I had some problems.

I had to see the doctor often. I had a friend who is a nurse and she used to visit me often. We grew up together. We went to the same high school and we have always remained close friends. She used to tell me how much she appreciated my husband because he was so attentive to me. This girl knows almost all of my business.

She is not married. When the time for me to have my baby was near, I suggested to my husband that we should allow her to move in with us until I had my baby; he agreed. She doesn't have her own vehicle, so my husband used to take her to work and bring her home. There is nothing that she would refuse to do for me. She went to the hospital with me and was there when I had my baby. I look back now and say how stupid I was to trust this girl with my husband. But she is such a professed Christian that I did not think that she would get involved with him.

I did not know that while my girlfriend was so close to me, my husband was servicing her. It was one of my friends who told me that this girl was involved with him. I did not ask her anything about it, but I asked my husband and he said that he would not lie to me, it only happened a few times while she was here with us. I broke down and cried. I called my girlfriend and asked her if it was true that she went to bed with my husband. She said no and that she would not do such a thing. But she went silent. I told her that he told me everything, and she said that whatever he says, I should believe. I did not cry, I bawled.

Some women cannot be trusted, and I can never forgive this girl for having sex with my husband. I have forgiven him for being unfaithful to me, but I can't forgive this girl.

C.M.

Dear C.M.,

You might as well forgive your girlfriend. She meant everything to you and assisted you greatly while you were pregnant.

You say that she is a nurse. She nursed you, so to speak, and we have enough blame to go around. Your husband did not have to disrespect you by having sex with your close friend, and your friend could not resist him. Don't bother to throw any stones at me, but you 'put butter in puss mouth'. You should have been more careful with your husband. This girl was nothing but butter, and your husband went after her and succeeded.

What they did wasn't right, but try and forgive both of them if you can.

Pastor