Worried that my girlfriend is migrating

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I have a girlfriend. I am in college. She is planning to leave Jamaica because her parents have filed for her.

So right now she is living with one of her aunts. The filing is coming through. My mother told me that I should leave this girl alone because when she gets to America, she may just dump me. I spoke to my girlfriend about what my mother said and she said she has no intention of leaving me when she gets to America. I have never been to America, but I would love for this girl and I to get married as soon as she settles down there and is on her own.

I have two more years in college. I would like to do a master's degree in America. Sometimes when her aunt and her husband are not at home, I visit my girlfriend. Her aunt's husband is a police officer, so I am always afraid to go to his house, but he knows me. Her aunt and her husband usually go to rural Jamaica, so whenever they do, she is alone. She tells me that I should not come without protection. She is always ready for sex whenever I go. She admitted that she has been having sex since she was 16, and it was a married man who took her virginity.

I have been encouraging her to go to school because it might take longer for her to be called to the embassy and be given the all-clear to get her green card. She likes to keep company. She is always going out with friends and I don't like that about her. Sometimes I wonder whether she is having sex with other guys. But I really love her. Do you think I should put my full trust in her? My mother does not think that I should.

L.C.

Dear L.C.,

I do not know what your mother has seen in this girl why she is not encouraging the relationship.

But remember, parents are not always wrong. You are only 19 years old and your mother wants the best for you. She is cautioning you about this relationship, so weigh what she is telling you. She might not be totally correct, but do not ignore her advice. Don't put your heart on this girl; focus heavily on your college work. I have always said that you can lose on a relationship, but you cannot lose on an education.

Whether this girl goes to America and then breaks up with you, is yet to be seen. You need to have a stable girl in your life and this young lady does not appear to be very stable. But she too is young and may change for the better in the years ahead. I wish you well, young man, I really do.

Pastor