He wants me to keep my pregnancy a secret

Dear Pastor,

I am hoping that you will help me. I have a 2-year-old and I am pregnant again, but not for the same man. This man I am pregnant for wants me to keep this a secret. He has grown children and he is married. His wife is a principal and he said people would laugh at her because they have been telling her that he has been cheating and he has been denying it. I used to teach at the same school, but I left and I am now at another school.

Sometimes he picks me up after school, but he does not do it often and I don't believe that those who see him know that he is married. He goes home early and that is what he uses as an excuse to convince his wife that he is not cheating. He has not asked me to terminate the pregnancy, but he wants me to keep it as a secret and not call his name, I am prepared to do that. I told him that he is earning enough money to help me to make a down payment on a house and he has agreed to do so. He begged me not to let him down and I will not do it.

I have my points at the National Housing Trust. He cannot put his name on the document to make it easier for me to get the house, but he has the cash. Do you think that he should be worried about putting his name on the document? I want this child to live in my own home. I don't feel ashamed getting pregnant by this man because I love him and he loves me more than his wife.

A.R.

Dear A.R.,

You must not believe nonsense. If this man told you that he loves you more than his wife, he is probably saying so to make you feel that you are special. If he loves you more than his wife, why is he denying that he is having an affair? He shouldn't be worried if the world knows that you are his sweetheart. However, he is not prepared to let the world know that because he doesn't want his wife to be aware of what is happening.

You did not give your age, but I am assuming that you are in your late 20s or early 30s. You are not smart at all. If you were having a sexual relationship with this married man, you would have protected yourself against pregnancy. But then why should I say that? You say that you are not ashamed of getting pregnant for him. So then, I ask the question, why that cover-up?

I hope that this man would keep his word and help you to purchase the house. He would be doing so not because he loves you but because he wants you to keep quiet and not let the world know that he is the father of your child and he may do so because he wants his child, to live in a comfortable place. Whether he becomes tenant in common or joint tenant, such document is public. I hope that you would come to your senses and try to find a man who is unattached.

Pastor