I miss my ex and the car he gave me

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 years old and my boyfriend is 20. He is very mature for his age. When we started talking I was in a relationship with a 30-year-old man. This 30-year-old man has his own business and I worked with him. He bought me a car, but he is married. His wife lost her job, so she started working with him. I don't know who told her that we were having an affair because she started asking me questions about him. I got nervous one time and told him some of the questions she was asking me. She even asked me about the car I was driving. It is a nice Honda motor car. This woman is always picking my brain to find out things about her husband.

One day, she asked me how I maintain a car on my salary. I told her my boyfriend gives me money every week. I was speaking about her husband, who was my man. We could not get to see each other much outside of the business. When I told him I was going to leave him but I wanted him to allow me to keep the car, he said no. One day I went home and did not go back. A few days after he came to my house, gave me $100,000 and told me he could not leave the car with me, so he would sell it.

I met my current boyfriend and he is helping me. He moved in to the one- room place that I have and he is paying the rent. I love him, but not as much as my former boss. I still talk about him. My boyfriend told me that it seems to him that I love my boss. I told him not really. I am trying to leave the island. My boyfriend and I slipped up and I have found myself pregnant. I didn't want to get pregnant before I am married. All my relatives are asking me what happened to my car. I have to be lying to them. I tell them I could not pay for it so I gave it up. I miss the man and I miss the car. My boyfriend cannot fit into his shoes. I don't know what to do.

M.K.

Dear M.K.,

Evidently, your former boss treated you well and you grew to love him, but you will get over him. Some girls get into a new relationship soon after they have ended one. That is not a very wise thing to do. Apparently, you were eager to become friendly with this younger man because you needed financial help and, indeed, he is helping you very well, but your heart and soul is not with him. Your heart is still with the married man. Had it not been for his wife, both of you would probably still be together.

I am not saying that you don't love the guy with whom you are having a relationship now, but it is evident that you have not gotten over your former boss. Why did he take the car from you? Did he give you the car with the understanding that it is really his but you were allowed to drive it? I suppose you cannot say that you did not get anything out of the relationship with him. I wonder what he said to you when he gave you the $100,000. Was it redundancy money? Couldn't be because you left the job on your own volition.

Don't rely on your new boyfriend to help you with everything. You are planning to leave the island, but I hope that after you have had your baby you will try and get yourself a job. Clearly you were not ready for a child. I hope you would not experience depression. Best wishes to you.

Pastor