My six-month pregnant woman cheated

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column and a listener to your radio show. I see where you have helped many people with their problems. I have a babymother who has one child for me. The child is one-year-old, but she and I are not together again. When she was six months pregnant, she had sex with a previous boyfriend. I came home one day and saw the guy's motorbike and when I went in, I saw him sitting around the dining table; he did not have on any shoes. I said good evening and passed, my girlfriend was in the bathroom taking a quick bath. They heard when I was coming, so she ran into the bathroom. The guy did not have any time to put on his shoes. The guy was very nervous when I came back out, but he put on his shoes and went away.

It took my girlfriend three days to tell me the truth. She admitted having sex with him although she was six months pregnant. She said she did it because she was in need and all the strain was on me. I asked her how much money he gave her. She said she did not get the money as yet because they heard me coming, so they stopped having sex.

As I see it now, pastor, I can't be sure that this child is mine. If she would have sex while she is pregnant, then she could have had it before she got pregnant. That is what I told her. Everybody says the baby resembles me, but not everybody knows that she cheated on me. I asked her what is the name of the man but she wouldn't tell me. I made a mistake. I should have taken the number of the motorbike licence plate. I don't know if this man calls her or if she calls him. I can't trust her, pastor. She didn't have to have sex to get money. My folks would have helped her.

I would like to run into this man one day. I love my son, but my mind has changed from his mother. When I think about it sometimes, I don't even want to eat from her. My son is too young to take away from her.

M.J.

Dear M.J.,

I hope that you will never run into this man. What would you tell him or ask him? Would you tell him that he needs to get back to the house and pay your child's mother for the sex? I could hear him say that the contract was not completed. He was not fully satisfied because you interrupted them. One can take serious things and make it a joke, but I am afraid I must tell you that this woman is not a good woman. Hmm hmm, not at all. Even during her pregnancy she was selling herself, bad girl.

She has let down herself and has let you down because she has given the man the impression that you could not fully provide for her. But the man is not a good man either because, as her friend, he could have given her the money without having sex with her. She is mighty careless both of them are careless people; and I don't blame you for leaving her. However, it is still bothering you.

Make sure you support your son.

Pastor