My husband is abusive

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you about my husband. He is 45 and I am 35. He is abusive. We have been married for four years. Before we got married he was very jealous.

He didn't want me to talk to other men. He picked me up from work every day, as soon as my shift ended. I could not even delay and talk to my coworkers. We bought a house. Whenever we argue, he tells me that he can leave me and cause me to suffer. He said without him I am nothing. I am tired of hearing how much he has made me. I have come to the place where I don't want to see him and I don't want him to touch me.

I don't even enjoy having sex with him anymore. He searches my phone every opportunity he gets. He saw a text message from a female friend and he said it was from a man.

My friend was telling me that she was having period pains and I jokingly told her that what she needed was a man. My husband twisted it around. He thinks I was saying to a man that I needed him. That does not make any sense! I know he searches my phone so I put things in there to make him feel angry. I am here only because of the children.

My son hates him because he saw his father slap me in my face and threaten to kick me down.

Unhappy wife

Dear Unhappy wife,

When women are dating and realise that their men are jealous, they should not continue in the relationship. If they believe that these men can change, they should seek professional help.

You knew that this man was jealous, but you did nothing about It. Seek counselling as a couple. If he does not change, move on.

Pastor