Am I disobeying God by continuing this marriage?

Dear Pastor

I have been married for 17 years. Recently, I found out about an affair my husband is having. The affair seems to be about a year old. I found out two months into the affair. In the past, I have made assumptions that he was having an affair but I have never actually had any proof. This current affair has destroyed our marriage. He is now treating me differently, disrespecting me with words and disregarding my feelings. He does not want me to comment about anything. He would prefer not to speak to me it seems.

I do not want to end my marriage, but I do not know how to continue. He will not go for counselling. Am I disobeying God by continuing this marriage? Should I try to work on this marriage? I am so confused. He is not happy. It seems as if I cannot make him happy. How do I let him go?

M.F.

Dear M.F.,

I am assuming that your husband has admitted that he is having the affair. You speak as if you have solid proof. Often, when a man does not want to go for counselling he believes that it will not help or he is sending the message that he doesn't care what happens to his marriage.

You say that you don't want to destroy your marriage. Perhaps you may give your husband more time to make up his mind as to whether he would agree to go for counselling and that you would pray about the matter.

You may also try to ask persons he respects to talk to him, but there is danger in doing so. He may say that you are telling everybody his business, but it's worth a try. If he curses you out for doing so, it would be time for you to see a lawyer.

Pastor