Will my boyfriend cheat on me if I migrate?

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I have a boyfriend who is 17. He was the first boy for me, but he told me that he had two other girlfriends and he always had sex with them.

His father knew that he was having sex and warned him not to get any of the girls pregnant. He said his father told him that he started to have sex when he was 15.

He said his father talked to him man to man and even gave him money to go and buy condoms, which he did.

When he asked me to have sex with him for the first time, I told him no. Then he told me the story of his talk with his father, and he showed me three packs of condom.

My parents are abroad. I live with my aunt, who is not married. She is a Christian and she doesn't have a boyfriend. She works many nights and I am left alone. She trusts me a lot.

My boyfriend comes here while she is not here. I told her I had a boyfriend. She does not know him and she doesn't question me about him.

Pastor, I love this guy so much. I am hoping to join my parents in the US very soon. Every time I think that I will be going away and leaving this guy behind, tears come to my eyes.

He told me that he would stop having sex because he wanted to be faithful to me. But I do not see him abstaining from sex.

One day I searched his phone. I was shocked by what I saw. He has plenty of porn in his phone. He said his friends sent them to him.

I know when I go to the US, I am not going to be able to have much time for him because I will be in school. He says that he loves me.

If I am not having my period, every time we see each other, we have sex. I asked him why we had to have sex every time we meet and he said it was because he loves me.

I have two younger sisters. They are in the US with my parents. They are Christians, but I am not. I want to be a good role model to them.

This guy wants to be an engineer, but he says his family is poor. I would like to help him when I start to work, but we would have to get married.

This guy has got so much out of me when it comes to sex. I don't know what else I would have to give to another man.

Do you think he is going to be faithful to me when I am away?

F.D.

Dear F.D.,

Don't fool yourself. It is not likely that this guy would be faithful to you while you are away. He is telling you that he would not have sex with any other woman because he doesn't want you to become upset.

But you should not believe him and you should let him know that you don't. He loves to have sex.

So, it is likely he would find a girl with whom he could have sex, and you would deal with that much better if you accept it now.

I am not saying that this guy and you may never get married sometime in the future, but what I am saying is that you ought not to put your heart in this young man.

I am glad that your aunt is a good woman and that you don't have any complaints about her.

I hope as you join your parents abroad, you will enjoy your time in the US and that you will study hard and make everybody proud of you.

Some people have gone to the US and have wrecked themselves. Make sure you don't join the wrong crowd. I wish you well.

Pastor