I’ve got a good church man

Dear Pastor,

I am 22 years old and I have a boyfriend; he is my second boyfriend. He treats me very well.

Since we became friends, I started to go to church. My father was a Rastafarian and my mother was never interested in sending us to church. They didn't talk good things about church. But I met this man while I was in high school. We used to meet up at the bus stop and we started to chat. I then realised that he liked me.

One day he asked me how I felt about him and I told him that I admired how he was very neat always very respectful to me. He said that his church was having a concert and he would like me to attend. I told him I did not have clothes to attend church. Without my knowledge, he spoke to one of his sisters who is about my build, and he told her that he was inviting me to the concert, but I didn't have any clothes to wear.

He gave his sister my number and she invited me to their house. She told me that her brother would be very disappointed if I did not attend and that she had dresses that could fit me. I tried on about four or five of them and I loved two or three, so she told me to pick out the one I liked the most and I did. Then she said I should take all three. I told her I would be satisfied with just one but she insisted I should take the three that I like because she would like to see me not only at the concert, but sometimes on Sundays. I thanked her for the dresses.

I went to the concert with this man and he kept telling me "You look pretty". He introduced me to all his friends. I started to attend the church. Unknown to me, my boyfriend gave his sister money to buy some dresses for me which she ordered online. That is how this man and I developed a serious relationship.

He went on to college and I didn't have anybody to help me. But his sister and I developed a bond and she helped me to get a job. I introduced my boyfriend to my father who likes him. My mother always tried to engage him in Rasta doctrine, but he never took her on. The guys who used to come around me when I was in high school were mostly Rastas and all they talked about was having sex with me. Only one of them did and I confessed that to my boyfriend. One day I asked him how come he had never asked me for sex and he told me the time would come. It took a whole year before this man and I had sex.

We recently got engaged. I do not believe that I deserve this man. Whenever I am at church, girls are always admiring him. I don't know what he has seen in me because there are many pretty girls in his church and I am an outsider. His sister is always telling me not to discuss him with anybody in the church. I like his church. I am attending baptism class and I will get baptised in September.

I try to invite my mother to church, but she said she is not going because that church believes in a white Jesus. I am hoping to go back to school. I have my eyes set on UTech. My boyfriend says in two years he will be able to pay for me to attend university. I am so glad I have met a good man.

K.E.

Dear K.E.,

I am glad that you have found a good man. He is a decent man and I am also glad to know that your father likes him.

I am sure the time will come when your mother will appreciate him. Perhaps she has already appreciated him, but she cannot stand to know that you are now attending a church and listening to people who are talking about a white Jesus. Your mother means well and the day may come when she may turn away from talking nonsense. Jesus is not white and those who talk about Jesus being white don't know better. As a matter of fact, Jesus is the answer to everybody's needs.

You have a very wise boyfriend. He told his sister that he wanted you to attend the concert with him and she handled the matter intelligently. You got dresses from her, and she assisted you in getting a job. That's a wonderful sister-in-law. I wish you well as you prepare for baptism. I hope that this young man and you get married; but marriage is not something to rush. It will be done at the appropriate time. Please let me hear from you again.

Pastor