Can’t stop giving my man bun

Dear Pastor,

I need your advice. I am a 21-year-old female and I'm having a problem with my boyfriend, who is seven years older.

We've been together for the past two and a half years. My boyfriend is one of the most loving persons I've ever met in my whole life, but I've cheated on him with six different men.

A year ago, my boyfriend left the island for work but only for a few months, and when he came back, I was pregnant for another man.

My boyfriend did not take the news very well; however, he stood by my side. I did an abortion. He stayed up with me many nights while I was dealing with those aches and pains.

It took him a while before he came around, and even now, a year after, he still talks about it when he gets mad. I can't blame him.

After I got pregnant, I still managed to mess up all over again by being sexual with the same man who got me pregnant and another guy. I think my boyfriend has had enough and he has become abusive.

Whenever there's an argument, it's as if he doesn't know how to control his anger. I can say very little to him without him jumping at me now.

Sometimes when we argue, he would talk about past events. He even goes as far as to call me names, which I think is very disrespectful. Because of the many things that I've done, he tends to make me feel as if I have no say at all.

As far as my knowledge goes, he has never cheated on me. I love this man. We had planned to get married and start our family soon. No matter how much we fight, we always get back together.

But that might not be so as he doesn't want to see me now or have anything to do with me. Over the last three months my boyfriend has been very distant.

We went from talking all day, every day, to talking two times per day. Now we don't speak any at all. I went to the house to get my stuff and he told me to leave my things because he just needs some time to himself.

My question to you now is, do you think after all that has happened I should just let it be, considering the fact that he doesn't want to talk to me now or even have anything to do with me?

I do wish to hear from you soon.

J.S.

Dear J.S.,

It is amazing that this man you consider to be your boyfriend has not yet walked away from you. You are very fortunate.

But, you know that this relationship doesn't have far to go. It is not going to last. You have destroyed it and your boyfriend is having difficulty in knowing how to deal with you.

Both of you love each other. At least, that is what you say. But how can you love a man who was away for just a few months and during that short period, you had sex with six different men? How can you think that was normal?

One of these men got you pregnant and the pregnancy was terminated. Your present boyfriend finds it difficult to consider you someone he can trust.

I believe that it is time for you to see a psychologist, who may suggest that you undergo psychotherapy because after you did an abortion, you became sexually involved with the same guy and also with another guy.

My goodness, something is wrong with you, and you are aware of that. You do not just need prayers, you need professional help.

Marriage is the last thing for you to think about. You are not fit to get married and to be called wife of any man until you undergo psychotherapy and receive healing.

Please understand that I am not condemning you, but I am worried about you, very worried and very concerned.

Your boyfriend right is now fighting with himself, wondering which way to turn. He, too, needs to see a psychologist. But you urgently need to see one because you are a danger to yourself.

I will be getting in touch with you. Please take my suggestion and prepare yourself to see a psychologist. In the meantime, please don't pressure your boyfriend to speak to you often.

Pastor