Husband’s employee treats me better than he does

Dear Pastor,

As I write this letter, I am crying. My heart is full. I am a married woman and my husband and I have three children. But I got into a relationship with a man who is working with my husband.

It did not start out as a relationship, but this man and I became very good friends. Whenever I wanted to go anywhere and my husband was unable to go, he allowed this man to take me.

He was always complimenting me and telling me how nice I looked. My husband never tells me how beautiful I am, even when I am dressed up.

This man would find time to come by the house, with my husband's knowledge, and bring me chicken, pizza and other things. Then he would say that these things were for the children. He would use the children as an excuse to see me.

One day my little boy asked his dad right before us how come so and so was bringing these things to us and he does not bring home anything. His father didn't say anything.

But while we were in bed, he asked me how often this man comes by and I told him a lie. I said not very often. My husband told me that he was going to fire the man and he must not come to the house at all.

I told him I was sorry and I begged him not to fire the man. But he did. I could not sleep for the rest of the night. Pastor, I am crying.

My husband believes that this man and I had sex, but we have never done so. These days, my husband keeps dropping word about how women can't be trusted, and that regardless of what men do for them, they will cheat.

I don't say that this man didn't want to go to bed with me; he never asked. Plus, I was never careless with myself. My husband is a good man, but he is not romantic. I want to make up with my husband, but he is still angry with me.

Please give me your advice.

D.A.

Dear D.A.,

Your husband was quite correct in firing this man. If he had not done so, both of them might have got into a fight over you and one might have killed the other.

So your husband fired him and now he has no reason to come around your house, unless you wanted the man as a lover.

This man did not have any respect for your husband, who was his employer. You allowed this man to get the impression that you wanted him. You say that you never went to bed with this man, so why are you crying because he is gone?

I hope that you realise that instead of being angry with your husband, you should tell him that you are sorry for the mistakes that you have made by taking gifts from this man. I am sure that your husband would understand. You cannot behave as if you are defending the man.

Your husband said women are bad. You should agree with him that some women are bad, but not all. You say that your husband is not the romantic type.

Because he does not comment does not mean that he is not admiring you. From time to time, you should ask him if he loves what you are wearing. Keep out of trouble. Some men like to play around with married women; never forget that.

Pastor